Are You Ready For Transitions In Life And Work?
I’m writing this as the sun sets on a beautiful late August day at the beach, and I’m reminded of how the ending of this month signals the beginning of fall. As I look off the balcony, I see fewer vacationers on the beach because families have left for home to get their children ready for school. I’m sad to realize this is our last week of enjoying this serene and relaxing experience before we begin another fall, winter, spring and summer cycle. Like it or not, we are always on the school year calendar.
Having started my career in education, it is very natural for me to orient my life around this annual summer vacation schedule. If you have children or grandchildren, it might be the same for you. This morning I heard a news reporter acknowledging that most businesses are on that cycle as well.
Transitions In Life And Work
As I reflect on this annual transition, I’m reminded of the changes we all go through in our lives. Very often, events or situations or experiences come to an end before we replace them and begin with something new and different.
We are all programmed to view major life events from beginning to end. However, William Bridges, a renowned educator who devoted his life to studying change and transition, reverses that sequence. In his model, the first stage of any transition is The Ending. Because his theory is so different, I want to explain it before I discuss how it relates to you and your retirement.
William Bridges was a pioneer, leader, and speaker in the field of personal and professional transitions. He attended Harvard, Columbia, and Brown Universities.
As an English professor, he became interested in learning, writing, and speaking about this topic. He developed his theories from his personal experience with two important events in his life.
He realized the significance of his first major transition when he left the security of his academic position as a professor and moved to the country to begin his speaking and writing career. He and his family experienced significant adjustments during this transition. However, it was at the time of an incredible tragic loss to him that he achieved his profound understanding of transitions. His wife was diagnosed with cancer and died after battling this illness for several years. This was clearly the biggest challenge of his life. Bridges realized he couldn’t teach others about transitions when he was struggling with his own wife’s premature death. However, his incredible personal loss became the catalyst for his true understanding of transitions.
His transition model crystalized when he realized having a proper ending is vital to facilitating a new and healthy beginning. Taking the necessary time to move through his grief, he limited his work responsibilities for 12-18 months to allow him the time and space to grieve.
To grasp this concept, I’d like you to think about relationships you’ve experienced in the past. If that strong personal relationship ended for any reason, without taking time to grieve the loss, you will more than likely have conflicted feelings in future relationships. This phenomenon also relates to work. If you don’t end your work life with thoughtful and conscious awareness, it will be more challenging to really relax and enjoy your post-work years.
In his books entitled Transitions and The Way of Transition, William Bridges explains that all important life transitions begin with an ending. He describes this process as consisting of three separate stages:
- The Ending or first stage is a letting go of what used to be.
- The Neutral Zone is the middle stage of uncertainty and exploration.
- The New Beginning is the third stage where you finally gain clarity and acceptance.
As you accept the realization that a situation in your life has changed, you are faced with what you will do about it. You know you are ready for a change but you are not sure how it will turn out. Conversely, it might be an unexpected change that has been thrusted upon you. You realize that this could be the beginning of a life shift that is truly unique, life altering, and that this next phase of your life could be better than all of the rest.
Change vs. Transition
There is a difference between a change that happens in our lives and the transition that follows that change.
A change means to make different; to alter in condition or appearance. It can happen quickly and it is usually external, visible, and tangible. It is a goal or an outcome. It can be a new boss, moving, death of loved one, or any of the many changes that occur in our lives.
A transition, on the other hand, is a passage from one state of being, stage, or subject to another. A transition refers to the mental, emotional, and internal transformation of a person as they go through a change. It is internal, invisible, and intangible and represents the psychological aspect of a change. The transition phase of change takes longer and has its own pace.
William Bridges’ Three Stage Model
1. The Ending—Letting Go
Every transition that you have gone through has required you to end one stage of your life to begin the next one: leaving your family to go off to college or training, completing college or training to begin work, leaving single life to get married, giving up your freedom as a couple to start a family, ending a long-term relationship you thought would last a lifetime.
Leaving your career where you have a clearly defined role to being retired or semi-retired is a serious transition. It requires that you end your work life as you have always known it. When you become intellectually and emotionally aware of wanting to change your work situation so you can retire and/or recareer, you will experience thoughts, feelings, and behaviors resulting from your decision to retire. These feelings are normal and signal that you have changed your situation and have begun moving into the middle stage of this transition.
2. The Neutral Zone—Disorientation To Reorientation
The Neutral Zone of this transitional process is usually a time of exploration and can be filled with much uncertainty. When you make any change in your life, you are facing various degrees of uncertainty. If you are ending a relationship, you think about what it will be like to be single. If you are retiring from full-time work, you wonder what your day will look like and how will you define yourself without your title and job description. If you are re-careering, you need to be conscious about what you need to do to prepare yourself for this new endeavor.
To compound the uncertainty about retirement, there are very few positive role models to help guide you. There will be no supervisors or job requirements dictating what is expected of you. As a result, it is normal to experience anxiety and a variety of conflicting feelings like fear, confusion, and perhaps even excitement. These emotions and feelings are normal during your retirement transition.
During this middle stage, your goal is to develop ways of dealing with these future changes in a productive and creative way. The Neutral Zone is also referred to as the “fertile void.” It’s called this because of all of the rich and new ideas that often accompany this stage. An important aspect of this stage can be summed up in a few words: the neutral zone is a great place to visit, but you wouldn’t want to live there.
3. The New Beginning
Once you have been able to progress through the first two stages of the transition process, you will be ready for something new. Bridges says there are two indications that you are ready for a new beginning.
- The first is the reaction of those around you who see that the process has changed you and you are not simply repeating old behaviors.
- The second is being honest with yourself in having moved through the first two stages which include an ending of your work career and the middle stage of exploring alternatives. Only then are you open to the realization that you are ready for something new.
Here are some ways Bridges suggests you move out of the neutral zone and into your New Beginnings:
- Stop getting ready, which can become a loop of endless preparation, and just do it, whatever “it” turns out to be for you. Having given your plans enough thought, don’t be afraid to move forward, even if you have to make some alterations along the way. If you have moved through the first two stages, you have already reduced the “new beginning” risk factor.
- Start to identify with the results of your new beginning. Will you be starting a new business, volunteering for a cause that you feel passionate about, or moving to a new town that fits your lifestyle better?
- As you move forward-step by step-stay focused, gather information, and get support.
- Let go of the outcome and enjoy the journey.
Transitions, especially a life-altering transition to retirement, can be a wonderful opportunity to grow from the inside out. Knowing yourself and being patient through this uncharted territory are both necessary for a new beginning that reflects who you truly are. Make this transition the most successful one of your life. You are worth it!
If you haven’t asked for assistance before beginning your Retirement Transition or any other Life Transition you are facing, this is a good time to reach out to a coach who can provide you with professional support and the encouragement needed to help make your transition easier and less complicated. I also recommend additional help from family, friends, or a mentor.
Enjoy life’s transitions and make the very best of the rest of your life.
Dee
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
The Life and Work Transitions Community
You’ve joined a great group — people who plan to make successful transitions in life and work. May you be inspired to use your strengths and skills to grow in this season and may each transition be your best ever.
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