Resilience, according to a dictionary definition, is the ability to adjust to change or recover from adversity. From a transitions perspective, resilience is the ability to learn to respond to changes in life or work circumstances—and there will be many of these throughout your lifetime—and move forward, building on your past successes with the transitions that always occur after change.
Some changes and their resulting transitions are the result of joyous occasions: a wedding, a long-awaited birth, a job promotion, or a retirement. Although these may produce some surprises and require some resilience, they are not misfortunes.
A divorce, the death of a loved one, and the loss of a job also lead to transitions. Resilience, though highly desired at times like these, may be elusive. Some people appear to bounce back from adversity more easily than others, but everyone has struggles. Resilience is the result of working through life changes and finding ways to transition towards the light at the end of the tunnel.
Sometimes it is our responsibility as family members, professionals, or community members to lend a helping hand to those who are struggling with change and may not have the knowledge, the resources, the strength, or the power to transition to a new stage or place successfully. This is especially true for children in high-risk and dysfunctional families and those caught in abusive situations. With the right support and environmental conditions, even disadvantaged children can develop resilience that will enable them to function better as adults.
Also, as adults we can appreciate that we have already made it through other transitions in our lives successfully. These may include
• Getting married
• Remarrying
• Going through a divorce
• Experiencing the loss of a child
• Starting a family
• Blending families
• Going back to school
• Sending your youngest off to college and becoming an empty nester
• Adjusting to a promotion or company reorganization
• Moving to a new location after changing jobs
• Retiring
• Dealing with chronic pain or a life-threatening illness
• Mourning the loss of loved ones
With patience and fortitude, we learn to deal with the discomfort caused by both joyous and tragic life events. We then move through the stages of transitions caused by a change in our lives. That’s how we build resilience.