The Birth Of New Beginnings
My last two newsletters have been about the first 2 stages of any transition. The first stage of transitions is called The Ending. It’s a time for letting go and grieving the loss of what used to be. This letting go stage is necessary to move on to the next transition stage. This second stage is called The Neutral Zone or the Fertile Void. This stage is a time of reflection. It is filled with the evolving process of learning more about yourself while considering all the alternatives for the way your life will be in the future. During your time in the neutral zone, you’re taking the time to prepare for a new beginning. After doing the hard work of letting go of what used to be, you develop self-awareness and become more attuned to your current environment and your next steps. You have identified support systems and new opportunities. After the first two stages are successfully completed, you have created the conditions for your new beginning.
Spring Forward Into Your New Beginning
Let’s consider this new beginning as a metaphor for the spring season with its uplifting and colorful transition from winter’s hibernation. The new beginning also resembles spring because the environment is more pleasant and there is new and vibrant growth around us. During this final stage of your transition, your surroundings may feel new, different, and exciting. This signals the beginning of your new life stage, a new career, a new relationship, a move, etc.
During this final stage, productivity increases and ideas crystallize. You’re more optimistic and ready to move forward with your new life. You begin to spend more energy on the present and future and less on the past. You’re more motivated and optimistic.
This stage can also be characterized by impatience as well as hope and enthusiasm. You have been through these first two stages and are ready to create a new vision for your life. You will begin to integrate this new beginning into your current life structure or lifestyle. This stage will also have its own transitional period.
Be Trigger Happy
In my last newsletter, I gave an example of my friend holding a ladder while his wife cleaned out the gutters. In a split second, he saw that his holding the ladder while she did the work as a metaphor for where he was in his life. He was stuck in a holding pattern. Everything crystalized for him and at that moment, he instantly understood what he had to do to regain control of his life.
Each of us is different and will discover the trigger, the happy moment, the metaphor or the casual comment that shows us what we need to do next. The following are some ways some people discover the path to their new beginning.
- You may have an enlightening dream revealing a clue or direction.
- A simple comment someone makes to you may trigger an idea that is congruent with what you want and need.
- A situation may initiate some motivation or insight to move you forward.
- You might read a book, helping you make sense of what has been occurring in the first two phases.
- You might read an article or something like this newsletter that finally puts everything in perspective.
- You may watch a movie that represents where you want to go in your life.
New beginnings, just like endings, require an action. However, the process itself will take some thoughtful time to make it completely operational. You have prepared the foundation for this new beginning and now it’s time to adjust thoughts, feelings, and activities with this new life chapter. It’s a psychological experience accompanied by a new energy and direction. You may be trying on a new identity, creating a new purpose, or becoming aware of who you truly are in this new experience.
Arrive In Style
Recognize your new beginning as the bold step it is and arrive in style. In this third phase of transition, you will:
- Focus on what your future holds.
- Shift your intentions away from the past and towards possibilities and opportunities in your future.
- Be more optimistic about your life and work.
- Be more productive and willing to take manageable yet challenging risks.
- Grow confidence in yourself and have a renewed trust in your resilience and courage.
- Begin to identify with the final results of your new beginning. What will it feel like after you have done it? Will you be starting a new business, volunteering for a cause that you feel passionate about, or moving to a new town that fits your lifestyle better?
- Create a plan that allows you to move step by step without being diverted from your path. Stay focused, gather information, and get support.
- Enjoy the process without becoming obsessed by the goal.
- Stop getting ready, which can become a loop of endless preparation, and just do it, whatever “it” turns out to be for you. In other words, you won’t be afraid to take a chance because you’ve moved through the first two stages, already reducing the risk factor.
Flaunt It
When you commit to a life or work change you know you want, it requires that you coexist with the discomfort of letting go, transverse through the fertile zone, trusting that it will lead you to a much-awaited new beginning. This requires courage, confidence, and resilience-so flaunt these character qualities and give thanks for a strong and compassionate support system. I learned this when I was making a huge career change from being a high school counselor to starting my private psychotherapy practice. If I had known then what I know now, that transition would have been easier and more manageable. I didn’t know what I didn’t know.
Life transitions can be a wonderful opportunity to grow from the inside out. Knowing yourself and being patient through this uncharted stage are necessary for a new beginning that reflects who you truly are. Stay focused on the fact that you are worth it! Take your time, get support, and make this transition the most successful one of your life.
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
As you face changes and transition in life and work, I welcome the opportunity to assist you either on a one-on-one basis or in a group coaching setting in order to meet your needs. Please contact me.
The Life and Work Transitions Community
You’ve joined a great group — people who plan to make successful transitions in life and work. May you be inspired to use your strengths and skills to grow in this season and may each transition be your best ever.
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