It is possible to achieve a positive outcome from a negative change. You can learn to make this happen in your own life and reap the benefits.
“Some changes look negative on the surface, but you’ll soon realize that
space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”
Eckhart Tolle
The “space” Tolle speaks of is the transition time between when an event happens and the inevitable transition that accompanies that event occurs. Transitions always involve emotional adjustments and this is especially true in relationships.
If you stop and think about it, you have a lot of relationships that matter to you that could change. There are relationships with spouses, partners, children, parents, siblings, extended family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, professional colleagues, and employers. No matter your association, these relationships can (and do) change—sometimes with notice and sometimes without warning. Some connections change dramatically due to death, divorce, job loss, or one person moving to a new geographic location. Other relationships change so gradually or so subtly that you scarcely notice.
Relationship changes can be either positive or negative. Make the transition period after any such change work for you. Ask yourself these questions after a change in a relationship. You can make your relationship stronger or achieve a positive outcome from a negative change.
• How have I grown as a person or professional since I met this other person and how might this strengthen (or otherwise affect) our relationship?
• In a few words, what do I need from this relationship/this person right now?
• What can I feel good about in this situation?
• Where does my strength and confidence lie?
• Where do I want to go from here?
• What is the next step that is best for me?
• What positives from this relationship do I want to hang on to and what negatives do I want to leave behind me?
• If my partner or I am facing retirement or any other significant life or work change, have we truly talked about our hopes, fears, and plans? (If not, a good place to start is Ready To Retire? Successful Retirement Planning To Make The Best Of The Rest Of Your Life*)
Equipped with this insight, you can begin to work toward a positive outcome from a negative change.
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