Are You Dying At Your Desk?
If you look at all aspects of a change, most involve some degree of risk. Examining these various aspects of change will help you to evaluate the pluses and minuses of a change to assess and then minimize your level of risk.
A few weeks ago, when I went out to get the Sunday newspaper, this assessment was brought to a whole new level by reading an article in the Business Section. I was surprised to see this concept discussed in writing because it is something I discuss in my seminars. The title of the article was “Dying At Your Desk Is Not A Retirement Plan, The Hard Trick Of Knowing How Much Is Enough And When To Quit” by Thomas Heath.
Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words and this was a perfect example. The picture accompanying the article was both graphic and jarring. It showed a man sitting upright in a coffin typing on his computer. The implication was that he was ready to or could die as soon as he finished this last important email or project report he was working on. I immediately recalled an old cartoon I saw many years ago. The cartoon showed a picture of a tombstone with the following epitaph: “My only regret was that I didn’t work more.” Will that be on your mind when you take your final breath?
This article was focused on the many Boomer employees who are staying at work longer than usual to make up for their insufficient retirement funds. Having given presentations on retirement for more than 8 years, I know that this is the reality for many in our generation. Too many just haven’t set enough money aside for a comfortable retirement. Heath said that “boomers born between 1946 and 1964 have a medium nest egg of $164,000. Gen Xers and millennials have even less but have more time to make it up.” This isn’t news for many of us.
The Risk Of Avoiding Change
Focusing on people who must work for financial reasons misses a major point I’ve observed over the years. Many people I meet have an adequate retirement financial portfolio, but they continue to work and add to their retirement nest egg. These employees are terrified that they won’t know what to do with themselves and won’t know who they are when they don’t have work to define themselves. They are literally dying at their desk.
To be transparent, since that is a popular term these days, I must admit that in my mid 40s and 50s, I was one of these people who had this mindset about retirement. I’ve come to understand this dilemma of holding on to work because you don’t have a retirement lifestyle plan. This is exactly how we avoid many of life’s challenges that we’re all familiar with. This may sound like a strong description of a very common dilemma many of our generation experience. Employee loyalty, hard work, and high achievement in the workplace is valued by our society. The Boomer generation is hard-working, goal driven, and high achieving. Consequently, many of us define ourselves by the work that we do. Some of us have had other parts of our lives disrupted and impacted by our compulsion to work and do it perfectly. The risk is this can turn into what looks like a work addiction.
What Is Work Addiction?
Work addiction is when someone is driven to perfect their work performance and is unable to relax into a sense of accomplishment. They do this to themselves based on inaccurate perceptions of themselves. These perceptions can be a result of emotional challenges, an unhappy marriage, or a loss that they might be having a hard time grieving.
In doing my research, I found that work addiction is “a condition in which individuals are unable to set healthy boundaries around their job schedules and use work as their major source of satisfaction in life.” This choice not only affects them personally but also affects their family and co-workers as well. If you substitute alcoholism, drugs, gambling, shopping, or any other behavior that is overdone, you can see the parallels. Work is just another behavior that can be a slippery slope and can lead to addictive behaviors. Since hard work and long hours are often admired, it obscures the recognition that this could be an addiction.
Working with many clients over the years who were struggling with addictions led me to explore some of the symptoms of work addiction. I’ve seen these symptoms repeated time and again. As I mentioned earlier, I had some of the following symptoms:
- Putting in long hours at the office, even when not needed
- Losing sleep to engage in work projects
- Being obsessed with work-related success
- Having intense fear of failure at work
- Sacrificing personal relationships because of work
- Making excuses and having a defensive attitude about work
- Using work to avoid or escape difficult relationships
- Working to cope with feelings of guilt or depression
- Working to avoid dealing with crises like death, divorce, or financial problems
Think about these symptoms and see how many might apply to you. Don’t make the mistake of working so long into your retirement years that you don’t have a chance to enjoy the fruits of your lifelong efforts.
How To Ease Into The Retirement Transition
The following suggestions might help you move towards a more reasonable work schedule and ease into a planned retirement lifestyle. It isn’t an easy transition! I can attest to that from my own experience and from working with many clients preparing to retire. However, learning more about the transition process and how to facilitate the transition into a leisurely retirement has helped me to make friends with this whole new stage of life.
Consider The Following Changes To Your Work Routine
- Avoid emailing and texting related to work when you are home in the evenings and weekends.
- Keep weekends free to do activities that are not work related.
- Review your schedule at work and explore ways you can eliminate unnecessary work hours.
- Set boundaries around work stressors like deadlines and overtime. You can only do what you can do.
- Talk to your partner/spouse and family members about their observations of your work schedule so you can begin to modify your behavior.
- Explore a hobby or interest and let that begin to intersect your work life.
- Remember you aren’t your work and you aren’t what you do at work.
- Read and learn more about the retirement transition so you can be prepared for the emotional, social, and psychological adjustments.
- Face challenges with the support you need so you don’t use work to avoid the personal and emotional stressors.
By managing this major life transition, you won’t be at risk for “dying at your desk” but instead will thrive in your retirement lifestyle.
Dee
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
As you face changes and transition in life and work, I welcome the opportunity to assist you through corporate presentations, group seminars, and community workshops, please contact me.
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