Are you avoiding change? Some people put off major decisions and life transitions like starting a family or retirement. Money is often their excuse yet delaying for financial reasons misses a major point. Some people—especially those with thriving careers—are terrified they won’t know what to do with themselves and won’t know who they are when they don’t have work to define themselves. These people are actually dying at their desks instead of living life to the fullest.
Although both parents have to work to make ends meet in many young families, happy children have been raised on less than the best of everything. Many older adults have an adequate retirement financial portfolio, but they continue to work and add to their retirement nest egg instead of saying “enough.” These employees are terrified that they won’t know what to do with themselves and won’t know who they are when they don’t have work to define themselves. They are avoiding change. Perhaps they will die at their desks.
In my mid 40s and 50s, I was one of these people. I held on to work because I didn’t have a retirement lifestyle plan or life-beyond-work mindset. For many, this is a common way of dealing with the risk of life’s challenges: resort to work and what we know best. We can even make it sound altruistic with terms like hard-working, goal driven, and high achieving. The end result is that many of us can only define ourselves by the work we do. Some of us have had other parts of our lives disrupted and impacted by our compulsion to work and do it perfectly. The risk of avoiding change in this way is that it can turn into a work addiction.
To avoid a work addiction, consider the following changes to your work routine:
• Avoid work-related emailing and texting when you are home
• Create spare time to explore a hobby or special interest
• Delegate and/or learn to say no, when possible
• Eliminate all unnecessary work hours
• Face challenges with the help of a supportive team so you don’t use work to avoid personal or emotional stressors
• Keep weekends free for non-work activities
• Learn more about your next life transition so you can be prepared for the emotional, social, and psychological adjustments instead of hiding in your work
• Remember you aren’t what you do
• Seek your family’s input about how they view your work schedule so you can make mutually beneficial modifications
• Set boundaries around deadlines, overtime, and other work stressors
By managing risks instead of avoiding change, you won’t be at risk for “dying at your desk.”