Transitions: Courage As The Antidote To Fear
Success is not final. Failure is not fatal.
What counts is the courage to continue.”
—Winston Churchill
Change and transition are universal. You can’t count on anything staying the same. As human beings, we are always growing emotionally and physically. Each daily encounter affects the person we are and will become because of a relationship or event we experienced. However, it is not the changes we face in life but the way we react to them that makes a difference.
In my therapy and coaching practice, I find too many clients are immobilized by their fears. This is especially true because changing a situation or relationship in their lives creates anxiety about the unknown. All of us have fears, but when you let fear stand in the way of the life you desire, you stunt your growth.
Some Shades And Dimensions Of Fear
When you are afraid, you may:
- Magnify the unknown
- Procrastinate
- Feel paralyzed/immobilized
- Anticipate failure or rejection
- Avoid the truth
- Protect yourself from making a mistake
- Experience embarrassment
Here are a few hypothetical situations you might relate to.
Relationships: You might be in an unhealthy relationship or marriage and you have tried everything to improve it. However, your partner or spouse is not willing to participate or has given up. Would you end up staying in the relationship because of your fear of not being able to go it alone? Would you be afraid to give up the comfort of the predictable? Would you fear you might end up making a mistake?
Work: You’ve been conscientiously working towards a promotion but it means moving to a new city. Your family is willing to move. Would you be held back by a lack of confidence in your ability to perform new responsibilities even though your mentor/coach has said you’re ready?
Loss: You’ve lost your spouse because of death or divorce. You are torn between really wanting to date again and being terrified that you will get hurt or go through another loss. You avoid situations where you might meet someone and refuse to explore online dating. At the same time, you complain to friends about not being able to meet someone. Your fears paralyze you and protect you as you struggle within your comfort zone to avoid venturing out and exploring the possibilities.
Retirement: You may be eligible for retirement but aren’t sure what life after work will look like. You want to leave your job and move on to your next life chapter, but you don’t have a plan or know how to create one. You’re afraid you’ll miss the work routine and work relationships, making a huge mistake and failing retirement in the process.
Courage
You can draw on your gifts in life to help you work through the barrier of fear. One of these gifts is courage.
Courage is acting in the face of fear with strength and perseverance. You have the potential to make that courageous journey one step at a time. It requires that you step out of your comfortable and familiar zone and face the risk of the unknown. Doing your homework can help to reduce the risk so you won’t have to find a reason to not “act.”
Each time you have the courage to move through a fear and do “it” anyway, you build confidence in your ability to persevere. It creates neural pathways in your brain to move through future changes and the transitions that come with them. It’s like flexing a muscle. It gets stronger the more often you lift the weights.
Brain & Life is a free magazine about brain health I’ve been reading since my late father’s diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease 11 years ago. The August/September addition featured an article about Leslie Stahl, 60-Minute correspondent and journalist. Her husband, Aaron Latham, screenwriter and journalist, was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease 11 years ago. She talks about their journey as a couple through the progressive stages of this disease. Leslie has used her investigative skills to focus on researching and gathering the facts about Parkinson’s. Her perseverance has served her well in this challenge to support her husband as, together, they face his disease and treatments. Aaron has complied with treatment and he can still do some writing in his semi-retirement.
Recently, Leslie discovered StoPD, a boxing program for Parkinson’s disease patients at Gleason’s Gym in New York City where Mohammed Ali trained. She says that her husband has responded well to the strenuous workout, building strength and confidence. She is all about research and action while Aaron would prefer to ignore his disease and not face its progressive effects. Both have shown courage to accept the disease, but each is facing it differently. How can you find the courage to face your own fears and avoid being held back by them?
Courage Strategies
Below are some ways you might want to strengthen your courage muscle
- Think back to a time in your youth or as an adult when you were afraid of something or someone yet found the courage to overcome it.
- Make a list of how you felt, what you did, and describe the outcome.
- Do this for two or three experiences and looks for themes. I predict you’ll discover the following skills you still have in your arsenal.
- Looking to a role model to guide your behavior
- Relying on a friend to support you
- Breaking a huge step into several smaller steps
- Focusing on what you can do and not what you can’t do
- Using written goals and strategies as a reminder
- Being realistic about the outcome
- Persevering through obstacles
- Not expecting the outcome to be perfect
- Celebrating your accomplishments
- Paying it forward by helping others find their courage
Courage doesn’t always roar.
Sometimes courage is the little voice
at the end of the day that says
I’ll try again tomorrow.”
—Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is too short to let fear hold you back. Find your courage! There are examples and lots of support all around you.
Dee
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
As you face changes and transition in life and work, I welcome the opportunity to assist you through corporate presentations, group seminars, and community workshops, please contact me.
Courage comes with preparedness
Know your options during times of transition–not just retirement–so you can courageously choose what is right for you. Start with the Dig Deeper questions in Ready To Retire? Successful Retirement Planning To Make The Best Of The Rest Of Your Life. Material throughout the book is geared to help you make the best of your life RIGHT NOW.
Order a copy today (Amazon PRIME members may get 2-day shipping)
The Life and Work Transitions Community
You’ve joined a great group — people who plan to make successful transitions in life and work. May you be inspired to use your strengths and skills to grow in this season and may each transition be your best ever.
Want more help for your life and work transitions?
Check out the Life and Work Transitions Strategies blog
Ready To Retire? Successful Retirement Planning To Make The Best Of The Rest Of Your Life Updated with more information about replacing the benefits that work provides
