Gratitude Can Remedy Bad-News Fatigue
Last week, I woke up in a funky mood. I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I felt rather down but that was just the beginning. Then, when I sat down at my computer, I had no Internet. That was frustrating because I had so many computer-related tasks to complete. While I was trying to figure out what was going on with the Internet, I tried to take the trash out because it was collection day and the electric garage door wouldn’t open so I could move the trash can from the garage to the curb. This was the last straw.
I decided to do what I often do when I’m upset and frustrated with things in my life not going according to my plan. I decided to go out for a nice long walk. It’s something I do every morning, but that day I chose not to take my phone because I wanted to just let my mind wander and connect with what was bothering me. When I got back from my walk, I noticed the garage lights were also not working. The common element to the problem was a GFI circuit had been tripped during the night. However, while the GFI reset fixed my immediate electronic and computer problem, it didn’t change how I was feeling.
It turns out I’m no different than you, my dear reader. I had determined while walking that I had too much on my plate and not enough time to accomplish all that I wanted to do. I’m sure you can relate.
I used to be a fan of buffets because I like to have a little taste of everything. That’s also what I’ve done with the rest of my life. My career responsibilities, being a long-time member our local Rotary Club along with my membership in Toastmasters, and an active social life can be somewhat overwhelming. The truth is that these activities I’ve chosen to be a part of my lifestyle feed me in a positive way and give my life purpose. Still, without limits and proper perspective, it can be exhausting.
Facing Negativity With Gratitude
More than any of our responsibilities in life is the tone that so many of us feel in our environments. It’s hard to turn on the news these days and not hear of the negativity in our world. There are tragic shootings, and destruction caused by floods and hurricanes. There are frequent abuses of men, women, and children along with the disrespect shown towards each other daily. The fires in California, resulting in so many deaths, are the worst in our history. On top of all these problems are the unrelenting political challenges that are tearing our county apart. No one is happy or satisfied. All these situations have complicated how well (and not so well) many of us are coping with our everyday life challenges.
The compounding effect of all these world problems has created a whole new level of anxiety for many of us. Some are choosing to limit their exposure to the news and find other distractions to avoid the daily cycle of bad news.
For me, this has created a rather complicated emotional transition. We must live our lives even if we’re disappointed, worried, or scared. We strive to do our work and take care of our families while we attempt to build positive and hopeful reserves to help us through these difficult times. The truth is “Nothing ever stays the same” and this too will shift at some point.
I’m finding myself in a different kind of neutral zone. In the past, I would use my work to distract me, but I’ve let go of and changed that behavior. As much as I love my work and the clients I work with, that’s not enough anymore. That’s because I have found other ways of defining what’s important to me.
Keeping A Positive Mindset
I subscribe to a newsletter by Travis Bradberry who writes about Emotional Intelligence. In one of his newsletters, he refers to Carol Dweck’s research on positive mindset. The research shows that facing setbacks in life is not dependent on how smart and confident we are but on the mindset you have. If you have a fixed mindset, you believe you are who you are and can’t change. You’re stuck. Those with this mindset will not do well with a failure or negative events in their lives. But, if you have a growth mindset, you believe you can cope with and change with the effort it takes to overcome those obstacles/setbacks in life and accept what you can’t change.
Now, back to the walk I took when nothing was working right in general, especially that morning. Without the distraction of listening to TED Talks on my phone or the communication with family and friends I often do with my iPhone, I came to a level of awareness. I reminded myself that I should “walk my talk.” In my newsletters I often talk about approaching things with a positive mindset. That is exactly what I needed to do.
Introspection
This might be a time for introspection and self-reflection. How would you handle a loss? Would you have the resilience to recover in a positive way or would you let that experience stop you in your tracks? Shock is normal in the first stages of letting go, but eventually you’ll need ways to move on. Looking at who you are, knowing your values, and defining your priorities are all important steps in these situations. It is helpful to do your own personal and gratitude assessment by asking yourself these kinds of questions:
- Do you have the reserves to meet life’s challenges?
- Do you have the support system in place to help you?
- Are you reaching out to people and organizations important in your life and investing time in them?
- Are you taking good care of yourself?
- What steps are you taking to build a legacy you are proud of?
These questions require some quiet introspection. This is what life, no matter the circumstances, is all about.
My Walk
That morning, my walk was even more therapeutic than usual. The more I moved, the more I gravitated to what was right in my life as opposed to what was wrong. I began to do a mental gratitude list of those things I have been blessed with: good health, a supportive husband, a loving family, a successful career, seeing the sunrise and sunsets. As I walked, I could sense I was letting go of my irritation and frustration and growing more confidence, remembering that people are basically good. Their intentions are good and there are too many things in life we just do not have control of.
During this season of holiday giving and receiving, be aware of how you can grow more gratitude in your life to help counterbalance the negativity in the world. There are a lot of good things going on in our communities that will give us more reason for thankfulness.
An Attitude Of Gratitude
I would like to invite you to get into the habit of practicing the following gratitude exercises. You will feel more hope and begin to build more positive reserves for yourself now and whenever you need them in the future.
- Make a list of all the things that you are grateful for and then write about why. You will begin to experience a positive internal shift.
- Spend time with positive people who know how to make lemonade out of lemons and have the resilience to bounce back over time.
- Be present to the people and activities you are involved with. Set aside some time to create a vision of future goals.
- Focus on the good aspects of your life and the gifts you’ve been given. Spend time developing them. For example, learn to play, study a language, improve your mental and physical fitness, volunteer, and hug those you love.
- Have fun, laugh, pray, and appreciate daily the qualities in yourself and others to keep your positive energy moving.
In my coaching practice, I help many people find more gratitude in their lives because it is often hidden in places they cannot easily see. This lesson learned is a friendly reminder that we all must “remember to remember” as my friend and I often joke. We forget the most important people and experiences we can add to our positive mindset reserves to be used in times of distress.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Dee
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
As you face changes and transition in life and work, I welcome the opportunity to assist you through corporate presentations, group seminars, and community workshops, please contact me.
Another thing to be grateful for
You are not alone. If you are facing a life or work transition, I can help you. The Dig Deeper questions in Ready To Retire? Successful Retirement Planning To Make The Best Of The Rest Of Your Life are a good place to start exploring what matters most to you. Your answers will lead you to make the best of your life RIGHT NOW, not just in retirement.
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You’ve joined a great group — people who plan to make successful transitions in life and work. May you be inspired to use your strengths and skills to grow in this season and may each transition be your best ever.
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