Stuck In A Rut? Try Change As The Antidote
Are you in a rut and can’t seem to get out of it? This has happened to most of us at some time in our lives. Today, I’d like to share a rut I’ve been in for almost 30 years and how I got out of it.
Getting Out Of My Rut
During my early 20s, I began to exercise by joining a running club in my hometown. Running was made popular by Jim Fixx in the early 1970s and the club I joined began before he wrote the book that made him famous, The Complete Book Of Running. I began running not only to get healthier but to get stronger and maintain my weight. It was also a coping mechanism to help me deal with my mother’s impending death. She was succumbing to colon cancer when there weren’t state-of-the-art treatments like there are today. I was struggling emotionally with the reality of her illness and running helped me cope so I wouldn’t be paralyzed by the sadness and loss I was feeling. After my mother’s death, I continued to run because it made me feel good and it had become a part of my daily routine.
In 1987, as I was starting my private practice, I was sidelined from running by a back injury. I reluctantly realized I needed to give up running, which I had come to love. Because it is low impact, I began walking to preserve my back and prevent any further injuries. It was a long transition for me because I really enjoyed running and the great feeling I had afterwards. Several years later, I added weight training and that has been my routine for the last 30+ years.
Because of my chronic back problems, I became very protective about the possibility I might be reinjured. I found myself avoiding any exercise that might compromise my back issues and cause me to be sidelined again. The flip side of this was that over the last few years, I found myself getting bored with my exercise routine, but I didn’t know how to change it.
Fast-forward to about three years ago when my sister and her husband invested in an exercise franchise called Pure Barre to be managed by my nephew and his wife. My nephew’s wife was so sold on the great benefits of this aerobic, body toning, isometric and muscle firming exercise program that she convinced my sister and brother-in-law to invest in the franchise. When the first studio was finally completed, I participated in a few classes. While I liked the routine, I felt it would be too strenuous for me, even with the instructors offering modifications to some of the movements. Most of the women were in their 20s to 40s and the classes lasted 50 minutes. I didn’t pursue it further because I always had that worry that I would re-injure my back. Even though I decided not to pursue the exercise program, I realized that the intense workout captured the positive feelings and high I used to get from running.
Several months ago, my younger sister invited me to meet her for some classes. She had been going to Pure Barre classes several times a week for almost a year and was noticing great benefits. I was more interested in the “sister time” than the exercise experience so I accepted her invitation. We finally found a time we could meet and enjoy exercising together. After several classes, I was amazed at how good I felt afterwards! I was excited to find that over time, this new exercise routine added to the walking and weight lifting routine and didn’t cause any back discomfort! I even noticed a chronic shoulder pain I had been struggling with for several years began to go away. The only consequence from this new exercise program was feeling sore because I was using muscles I had never used before, even when walking and weightlifting. The soreness has been temporary and, ultimately, I’m stronger because of it. The classes are varied enough that I’m always discovering another muscle group I didn’t know I had.
Life, Career, And Relationships Scan
You may be wondering what my story has to do with change and transition. Often, we keep doing the same thing day after day, month after month, year after year because it’s familiar, predictable, and comfortable. You’re in that old proverbial “comfort zone” until one day something happens to reveal a “road less traveled,” which takes you in a different direction. Are you going to wait for something or someone else to move you out of your rut or are you going to be proactive?
Let’s do a life, career, and relationship scan and address what needs some attention, change, or analysis in your life.
- Are you in a career you could possibly change, or could you segue into a companion career? (For example: I added coaching to my therapy practice twelve years ago.)
- Are you finding your exercise routine boring, yet it might take some energy to figure out how to change it? (I now travel in the morning darkness to take Pure Barre classes several times a week. I’ve seen some beautiful full moons, star-filled skies, and sunrises that make my day.)
- Are there family relationships or friendships that need more TLC because you have taken them for granted? Remember, “Love is a Verb.” Show those you love that you care.
- Are there unhealthy relationships you are holding onto, having tried to work on them, but nothing is changing? Don’t let fear keep you from letting go once you’ve tried your best to work on that relationship. Relationships, by definition, are between two or more people so you shouldn’t have to do all the work yourself. Have the confidence to trust your gut and enter the first stage of a transition-letting go or what I call The Ending.
Normal Routine Versus Risky Ruts
There are some routines you automatically do—and we all need them—so we don’t have to think through everything we do daily like brushing teeth, driving to work, and family meals. However, trust your gut to know when the rut is so deep you can’t see over either side without a ladder.
Here are some tips to help you move out of that rut and into the light of a new day.
- Scan the areas of your life like your health, relationships, and career and choose one to change if you suspect you’re in a rut. Seek to find a change that will be beneficial to you and all concerned while also being ready for the emotional transition.
- Be brave and flex that muscle as you work through fear and avoidance. It’s only a temporary state of being.
- Choose someone you trust who will help you climb out of that rut and open your eyes to new possibilities. It took my sister’s persistence to help me get out of my exercise routine rut, and I was ready!
- Ask others who have overcome the “rut challenge” and find out what has worked for them.
- Always be aware and evaluate your life. Ruts are seductive and can catch us off guard.
My exercise story is a metaphor for other life-long ruts or entrapments. I would like to report that I continue to do classes, feeling energized afterwards and being grateful that I am strong enough and in good enough health to be able to move to the Pure Barre beat with women of all ages. The music keeps you moving! Find your own music and transition out of your rut into a life-enriching direction to the tune of your own beat.
Dee
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
As you face changes and transition in life and work, I welcome the opportunity to assist you through corporate presentations, group seminars, and community workshops, please contact me.
Don’t get stuck in a rut during your next transition
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