Do you have the skill of patience? Psychiatrist Judith Orloff, writing in 2012 for Psychology Today, said in her article The Power of Patience, “Patience doesn’t mean passivity or resignation, but Power. It’s an emotionally freeing practice of waiting, watching, and knowing when to act.”
The art and skill of patience requires strategic behavior to maximize the potential for success. It requires you to calm the normal frustration you feel in any transition and let your intellect, not just your emotions, guide you.
In a 2012 study by Sarah A. Schnitker, Ph. D., she found those with the skill of patience with others were more hopeful and satisfied with their lives. Those undergoing a major life transition, when armed with the skill of patience, were more likely to have hope with less negative emotions.
“Patience is a form of wisdom.
It demonstrates that we understand the fact that sometimes things must unfold in their own time.”
John Kabat Zinn
You can develop this skill of patience and be calmer and more thoughtful in times of transition and in the face of life’s obstacles. Try these patience-building strategies:
• Tune in
Ask yourself what it is that you are frustrated and impatient about.
Is it the people, places, and things in your way?
Is it your own frustration and confusion about what you want and need?
Is it all of the above?
• Meditate
Practice the skill of patience with yourself so you can have patience with others. Sitting still and quieting your thoughts and emotions takes an incredible degree of patience.
• Let go
When you feel negative emotions—resentment about a friend’s lateness, frustration with a colleague who has not done his/her part of a project, or anger at a spouse who forgot to pick up dinner—take a deep breath and let those feelings go.
Cut yourself and others some slack.
Be patient, understanding, and empathetic to the stress they might be experiencing and have gratitude they are in your life, as imperfect as they are.
Manage your impatient emotions and then talk to them calmly about how their behavior impacts your situation/relationship.
• Practice patience
Remember the skill of patience helps us cope with life’s challenges.
Imagine lifting weights to build a muscle. Practice patience, not procrastination (try setting goals throughout the year).
• Give yourself this gift of wisdom
Regard patience as a gift of wisdom.
You and those around you will benefit from your self-awareness in any transition.
• Protect your boundaries
If you are patiently going through a transition, there may be friends and family who aren’t on the same page. They may be too eager for you to resume doing things for them and aren’t at all patient with you being unready or unwilling to do so on their timetable.
Flex your patience muscle, practice the skill of patience, and find more peace, empathy, and satisfaction for yourself. In turn, you will grow more empathy and understanding for others. You’ll become an expert on patience!