Love That Lasts Through Your Retirement Years
Next to Christmas, Valentine’s Day is one of our oldest celebrated holidays. In 498 AD, Pope Gelasius declared February 14 as a day to honor St. Valentine. Later, during the middle ages, the French and English noticed that the middle of February was the beginning of the birds’ mating season which added to the idea that mid-February should be a time of romance. This belief subsequently morphed into the very popular Valentine’s Day tradition of recognizing the most significant relationship in your life.
I can remember exchanging Valentine’s Day cards with elementary school classmates, a tradition that is still widely practiced today. As we got older and entered high school and college, many of us had a special relationship that we honored by giving a small gift or a card. This holiday celebrating love has always been a part of our lives.
While Valentine’s Day is often thought of as a young lovers holiday, many of you probably heard about the You Tube video that went viral several weeks ago. The video showed an older gentleman, John, expressing love and patience with his wife, Linda, who was recovering from a stroke. Five years earlier, Linda was on top of her game as a high-energy, successful professional. Unfortunately, the stroke left her partially paralyzed, unable to speak, read, or write. While she recovered from her paralysis and is now able to speak, she is still unable to read or write.
The video that went viral was taken in a Starbuck’s Café by a young man who was profoundly touched by what he was observing. He quietly watched as a loving man taught his wife the alphabet with cue cards so she could create words and reclaim her ability to read and write. The young man who took the video said “Patience, love and understanding at its finest. People, this is true love.”
Who wouldn’t agree with the young man’s observations and comments? This video is more of an expression of love than any Hallmark Card showing a couple holding hands while walking on the beach. Love is easy when you’re young, healthy, and free of most of life’s problems and obligations. The video was symbolic of a deeper love that grows over time and grows even deeper in tough times.
This is a lesson for all of us. None of us knows what emotional and physical challenges life will bring, especially as we move into our retirement years. Life becomes a little more unpredictable because of many unforeseen events.
However, age is a seasoning that gives us wisdom and knowledge. It opens up more possibilities for engaging in life’s purpose and meaning by dedicating ourselves to others, whether it’s a spouse, friend, or some unknown child halfway around the world. Unfortunately, it also brings with it age-related physical, emotional, and cognitive changes. Each of us as spouses, family members, and friends will be called upon to support each other through difficult times a loved one might have. Will you be up to the challenge when that time comes? The strength of a relationship over twenty, thirty, and forty plus years will be tested during these times.
Loving the one you’re with through good times and bad is one of life’s balancing acts. Even though our hearts are in it, it isn’t always easy. Be thankful for who you have in your lives and the lifestyle you have created. Enjoy positive experiences and trust that you will be able to cope with and be flexible regarding the more challenging situations.
Here are some thoughts for you to consider on this special day and throughout the year:
- Develop strong relationships with your partner, family, and friends that will sustain you through good and bad times.
- Give back as much as you would like to receive.
- Be supportive as well as be able to receive support.
- Be willing to admit when you have made a mistake and remember it is never too late to say “I’m sorry” and make amends.
- Consider how your actions influence the people in your lives that you love and care about.
- Show in different ways, large or small, that you love the important people in your life.
- We never know what curves life will send us. For that reason, you should enjoy the long-earned fruits of your efforts now. Don’t wait until it’s too late.
Love with the deeper intention not only on Valentine’s Day but all year long and remember to make the best of your life for the rest of your life.
Dee
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
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