Do you need to reshape your identity? According to Doug Cooper, “Identity cannot be found or fabricated but emerges from within when one has the courage to let go.”
While we are working and pursuing careers, our identity is shaped by what we do. If we are truly fortunate, that identity is also shaped by the essence of who we truly are. Too many people, however, become identity-bound and see themselves only as do-ers in work roles related to jobs.
When you were young, you developed a fundamental identity. This was influenced by the people who surrounded you, most notably your parents or caregivers, and by adverse situations in your life. You may have chosen to “be” what your parents wanted you to be because you were dependent on their approval and less sure of your own choices. You may have also added other personas like the problem-solver, the funny one, or the rescuer as coping mechanisms. Even though your circumstances have changed, these remnants of identity never really go away unless you respond to life differently.
Likewise, when you retire, you don’t automatically leave your career identity behind. You need to reshape your identity. You no longer have the work environment or role that defined you for so many years, so you get to choose which aspects you want to keep as strengths and which you want to discard as no longer useful.
Work Identity
While employed, you are required to act in certain ways to accomplish your tasks, to meet team goals and the objectives and deadlines of the company. You also behave in pre-conditioned ways to advance in your career, deal with difficult situations involving employees and clients, and do far more than seems possible in the average day. For that reason alone, work often spills over into evenings and weekends, leaving little time to pursue what really matters to you.
But what you do is not who you are! You can reshape your identity now and as you look toward retirement.
As much as most of us don’t like change, retirement is an excellent time to make these changes. It is a time of change. We don’t have to become role-bound to our career identity even if it is hard to imagine something different.
If you struggle with the idea of change, you may want to read my past newsletters below:
• What Do You Believe About Change?
• Turning Change Into Lasting Transformation
Change can be a good thing. I hope you are encouraged to reshape your identity to reflect your authentic self.