To be proactive in caring for elderly parents now or later, I would like you to consider some questions. Their answers could help you be prepared for the future.
• Is your parent willing to have this “next stage of life” conversation with you in preparation for when they will need more care?
• If your parent won’t talk about this with you, what can you and any other family members do to create a plan?
• Have you shared your later-in-life plans to encourage your parent to share what they are thinking about for themselves?
• How long can your aging parent live safely by themselves with proper nutrition, socialization, and medical treatment?
• Are you and your siblings able to generally agree on the care of your parent?
• How will you handle money issues with your parent? It is great if your parent has appropriate funds, i. e. long-term care, a pension, investments, etc. But what will you do if there isn’t enough money for your parent’s care?
• Are you familiar with all the community resources that are available? It is amazing how many services are available when you need support.
Care of elderly parents can put a strain on your marriage and other relationships. It is important to safeguard your marriage from the stress of unexpected caregiving by planning for this in advance. Try to continue living your life as much as possible, especially if you still have children at home or have a child who has a disability and is dependent on you.
Know that you are not alone in this challenge. There are many of us who have been through this life stage with elderly relatives or who continue to plan for levels of care for elderly parents on a regular basis. You don’t have to do this alone. Here are some resources that may be helpful to you:
Caregiving Services
GraceFul Care http://www.gracefulcare.com/ for non-medical caregiving in Maryland, Virginia, and DC, contact Pat Williams at 703-904-3994
Comfort Keepers, a national caregiving service www.comfortkeepers.com
Websites
AARP www.aarp.org/families/caregiving
Family Caregiver Alliance www.caregiver.org
Help Guide www.helpguide.org/elder/caregiversupport.htm
Books
How to Honor Your Aging Parents by Richard Johnson, Ph.D.
Care for elderly parents with confidence by being proactive in your preparation and planning.