Change is inevitable. We can’t avoid it because it is part of our daily lives. As songwriter Johnny Rivers said, “The only thing that’s permanent is change.” How you deal with change will depend on your ability to adapt and your attitude about change. A conscious, developed awareness of your response to change can help you develop better coping strategies.
Notice how you respond to the following questions to determine how you cope with change.
T / F 1. I am able to make a change even if everything isn’t 100% right.
T / F 2. I can make changes proactively before they are forced on me.
T / F 3. I often look forward to change as exciting and challenging.
T / F 4. I am not the kind of person who has to be totally fed up before I’ll make any changes.
T / F 5. When confronted with a change that I disagree with, I try to accept it and if I can’t, I look for healthy ways of dealing with the change.
T / F 6. I never feel responsible for negative changes that come out of nowhere.
T / F 7. I realize that sometimes even “good” changes have an underside that may bring unexpected problems.
T / F 8. I realize that a positive change in one area of my life won’t solve all of my problems.
T / F 9. When coming to terms with a major change in my life, I try to keep other changes to a minimum.
T / F 10. When a change or transition occurs, I review how I have handled other such events in my life for lessons on how to cope with this event.
T / F 11. I look for other people who have undergone similar changes as models for how I might better cope with the change in my life.
T / F 12. During a time of change, I ask for help and support from those reliable friends and outside professionals that I trust.
T / F 13. After a life changing event, I step back from the situation to get perspective and give myself time to regain a sense of balance.
T / F 14. When a change occurs, I try to look at the “big picture” and acknowledge mixed feelings I might have.
T / F 15. I don’t hold onto “the way things used to be” but instead move into “the way things are” or “the way that I would like them to be.”
T / F 16. In order to make a necessary change, I am willing to risk the disapproval and lack of support from others.
T / F 17. When something positive happens for someone that might change our relationship, I don’t let my fears get in the way of being supportive of that person.
If you answered False to more than 6 of these statements, you may want to re-assess how you handle change. You may need to find more positive ways of coping with change or get support for making the changes necessary to have a fulfilling and evolved life in one of the biggest transitions of your life, retirement. If changes in your life are causing difficulty and you need help in developing some skills to cope with them, don’t hesitate to ask for me for help.