Change is a normal part of life that occurs before transitions. Although it can happen quite quickly, it may also be years in the making (your youngest child leaving home, your retirement). It is external, visible, and tangible to you and those around you. Learn to recognize the characteristics of change so you can make your change more positive.
I help my therapy and coaching clients deal with the change they face in their work and day-to-day lives. Some of the changes are positive and desired, some can be viewed as both positive and negative, and others are distressingly negative. ALL require adjusting to a new normal.
When facing life-altering events, it is important to distinguish the difference between change and transition. If you have ever experienced a natural disaster, you know “life as you know it”—your home, your livelihood, your surroundings, your closest relationships—can all be damages or destroyed. You then need to begin the long process of rebuilding and transitioning to a new way of life after the earthquake, fire, flood, or hurricane.
Change may not happen to you directly. My husband’s niece and her family had to vacate their home due to smoke damage from a fire in an adjacent townhome. My husband’s sister lived with us for over a year so her daughter and her family could live in her condo during the renovation process. Although the fire—the change—devastated the neighbors, we all had to adjust to the change. I am thankful to say the transition ended well.
Terminal illnesses have affected my circle of family and friends. This change permanently affects both the patient and the survivors, and the transition process is often delayed by hope, denial, and a season of grieving.
Be prepared for some of the emotions that will result from being in transition. I will write more about the emotions you might experience during a transition in future blog posts.
Other changes are not so sudden or so obvious as death and yet we need to realize a major change has occurred. For example
1. Your house seems quiet and empty. Preparations are all done and your high school graduate is now off pursuing a new path. What will you do?
2. You no longer have all-day parenting duties. Your child is in school instead of home with you. What do you want your day to look like?
3. You have been laid off after 30 years with your company. How do you want to use your skills? How can you create a legacy? What will give your life purpose?
Learn to recognize the characteristics of change in order to make your change more positive and quickly begin the transition process to a new normal.