As we age, there are many changes that occur much more closely together. We need to manage those changes in a healthy way if we are to thrive through them and move forward in our lives.
Chances are you have experienced more changes in your world during the last few years than at any other time in your life. Because of our life stage, these changes are common as we move into our 50s and 60s. You may be first-time empty-nesters, caring for aging parents, preparing to change careers, or anticipating retirement.
What we can learn from the past is this: we can no longer predict what life will look like over the next few years. The world we know now will change. We will also change so how can we embrace—and thrive—during times like these?
William Bridges has written many books on transitions over the years. In several of his books, he refers to the three stages of transition we all must pass through in order to make a successful transition: the ending, the neutral zone, and the new beginning.
The ending is the “letting go” phase. In other words, you must let go of the old—the tried and true—and make adjustments to learn new skills, behaviors, and even attitudes, and then move forward. Even though you may not even know it, you are really quite skilled at this. You make small changes every day like picking a new restaurant when your favorite one closes or choosing a new tax accountant when yours retires. You have also faced bigger changes. Your job description has changed or you have lost your job. Perhaps a child has left home for the first time or an adult child is returning home. Maybe you have had to deal with the loss of a relationship through divorce or death and you must grieve and let go of the old before you can embrace anything new.
The neutral zone is the time between letting go of the old and becoming comfortable with something new. This is also referred to as the “transitional time.” It’s when you learn more about yourself, your needs and desires and what you really want to come from this transition. It’s a time to explore your options and sit with the discomfort of the emotions that the ending has revealed. You are preparing yourself to make decisions about what could move you forward.
The last stage is to begin anew. This is when you begin to spend more energy on the future than on the past or even the present. Your focus shifts, your productivity increases, and your attitude improves. You have left the old behind and made the necessary adjustments to move forward in a healthy way. You are ready for new possibilities.
As you face retirement, acknowledge what you are letting go. Give yourself a short transitional time then embrace your new beginning and the changes that come with the retirement lifestyle you choose.