Handling negativity may be a daily occurrence in your life. The tone of your environment may be decidedly depressing and feel like a greater burden than any of your responsibilities in life. The cause seems obvious: the news is full of negativity about destruction caused by fires, floods, and hurricanes; tragic shootings; abuse of human rights and real people; and a general disrespect of others. Add to these problems the ongoing political challenges that are tearing our county apart.
When one is trying to cope with everyday life challenges, handling negativity of this magnitude is overwhelming. These world problems have created an additional level of anxiety for many. Some people have chosen to limit their exposure to the daily news and others seek distractions to avoid this negativity.
In the past, handling negativity meant distracting myself with work. However, I’ve changed my behavior because as much as I love my work and the clients I work with, that’s not enough. This complicated emotional transition—living an imperfect life while working and taking care of our families—starts with introspection, allows us to define what is important to us, and leads to building positive and hopeful reserves to aid us in hard times.
Keeping a positive mindset
When handling negativity, start with a positive mindset. Research by Carol Dweck shows that it is not how smart or how confident you are that determines the outcome when you face a setback in life. It is the mindset you have in that situation. A fixed mindset says “nothing will change” and you are stuck—a poor prognosis in a negative situation. A growth mindset says “I can cope and change in order to overcome this challenge.”
Introspection
The second step in handling negativity is personal introspection and self-reflection.
• What will help you handle this loss, this setback, this problem?
• What can you be thankful for in this situation?
• Do you know who you are (not what someone else is saying about you)?
• What do you like most about yourself?
• What are your core values?
• What are your priorities right now?
• What reserves do you have to meet life’s challenges?
• What support system do you have in place to help you? If you don’t have a support system yet, which people in your life will you ask for help?
• Where are you investing your time and resources (people, organizations)?
• What are the next 3 steps you need to take for good self-care?
• What legacy do you want to leave? What can you do this week/month/year to make it something you can be proud of?
These questions require some quiet introspection. This is what life, no matter the circumstances, is all about. Your answers—and changing the ones that keep you from a positive mindset—will enable you to handle negativity with gratitude and grace.