By now, you have probably experienced both success and failure with New Year’s resolutions. If you look closely, the ones that succeeded are often the ones where your intentions were not only good, they marked the end of something. This allowed for a new beginning.
If your intentions are not well thought out, it’s easy to forget them and continue in old habits and patterns. If, however, you have taken the time to reflect on your life and what is/isn’t working well for you, you can then be clear and purposeful in orchestrating changes. Ask yourself
• Why am I doing _____?
• What do I hope to accomplish?
• How will my life be different at this stage or time?
• Who can I count on for support as I work toward the goal of _____?
Instead of making New Year’s resolutions or birthday intentions that you will quickly discard, spend time reflecting on accomplishments (or lost opportunities) from the previous year. Identify endings that you can celebrate as milestones like graduations, promotions, or leaving a job to start your own business. Re-examine abrupt endings that signal lack of motivation, resources, support, or time and decide if and how you might turn those intentions into successful transitions at work or in your personal life.
Good intentions are not enough. What really solidifies a successful transition is knowing WHY you want change. (If you are unclear about the difference between a change and a transition, read my earlier post “Transition versus change.”
Behaviors change when you know why you want to change them. For example, you learn at a young age that touching a hot stove hurts so you don’t intentionally touch it. As an adult, you learn new things about yourself and your career, relationships, finances, health, passion/purpose, and most enjoyable use of your time. You can apply what you learn to improving these areas of your life once you know why you want to change them.
Start by examining what is working well in each of these life areas
• Career/Work
• Family Relationships/Friendships
• Finances
• Health and Wellness
• Leisure and Social
• Personal/Spiritual Development
As you reflect on these areas, you are developing intentions, exploring the lessons you have learned, and deciding where you want to make improvements. I encourage you to
• Challenge yourself so you will stretch and grow
• Pursue your passion and keep your excitement alive
• Clearly define your values so your words and your actions match
• Nurture feelings of independence, connectedness, and competence
• Be purposeful so that your motivation and meaning come from within you
• Write your intentions down in a highly visible place
• Allow yourself to commit and then be accountable to yourself and others
Focus on your successes and then build on them. This will increase your confidence in your ability to set intentions that will succeed. It also helps you see what needs improvement.
What intentions do you see coming from your current transition?