For Better or Worse, in Sickness and in Health
Because of all the medical advances over the last fifty years, we have the wonderful gift of longevity. Life expectancy in the early 1900s was forty-seven years. A person born today can expect a life expectancy of seventy-nine years. For boomers between the ages of fifty-five and sixty-five, our life expectancy will be in the low eighties. By any reasonable standard, we’ve come a long way! Of course, this longevity depends on a number of factors. Surprisingly, genetics only counts for about 10%, while the other factors are a function of lifestyle, the nature of the work you do, and whether you are male or female. This is based on research done by Dan Buettner who studied areas of the world with the highest percentage of centenarians. You might want to explore www.bluezones.com to review his fascinating work.
Navigating Longevity’s Challenges
What are the implications for our boomer generation? Because we are all living longer, some of us will ultimately be faced with illnesses or handicaps that will affect our retirement lifestyle. Have you considered how your retirement might be affected by yours or your spouse’s future medical needs?
Traditional wedding vows say, “We will be true to each other in sickness and in health.” While you and your partner will remain the same people, there may be future medical challenges neither of you anticipated. Facing these kinds of unknown situations requires a lot of compassion and empathy because it could happen to any of us. The bottom line is that it is possible to have a full and enjoyable lifestyle even if we have to deal with life’s medical challenges.
I know of a number of couples where one or the other is dealing with cancer, MS, Lupus, Alzheimer’s disease, muscular degenerative diseases, or orthopedic disabilities. For the most part, these individuals and their partners manage these illnesses with heart, a positive attitude, and a willingness to make accommodations personally and for each other.
Accommodation Options For a Quality Lifestyle
Here are some options to consider for couples who are in this situation and are trying to plan ahead:
1. First and foremost, make sure you communicate with each other about all of your thoughts, feelings, concerns, ideas, worries, and desires about your medical circumstances. This is important regardless of whether you are the spouse with medical problems or you are the caregiving spouse. Thoughtful lifestyle changes can be much more effective after having had open communication and cooperation.
2. Keep in mind the possibility that you might need easy access to necessary medical care, hospitals, and specialists. You may ultimately need to relocate so you can be closer to quality care or have the transportation flexibility to get to good care quickly. This may also affect how close or how far away you are from family and friends.
3. Home adaptations for a spouse’s special medical issues may need to be implemented. Take a few minutes to look around your house and consider your options. Here are some ideas to consider if you plan to stay in your current home:
- Consider moving the master bedroom to the main level
- Consider renovations that will lower the counters for better accessibility
- Consider renovating bathrooms for better accessibility
- Consider where you would install a ramp for wheelchair accessibility
On the other hand, if you are considering moving and possibly downsizing:
- Move to a home with at least the master bedroom on the main level
- Ideally you might consider moving to a home that is all on one level
- Alternatively, consider floor plans that could accommodate an elevator
- Consider proximity to family, friends, shopping, and future medical services
4. Some people’s medical disabilities are affected by the climate in which they live. Moving might alleviate or minimize a medical condition. Temperature, air quality, and humidity levels can all be factors that affect one’s medical condition and quality of life.
5. Retirement dates can also be affected by one’s medical condition or the condition of their spouse. Health issues can often force an early retirement for you or your partner. For the caregiver, it can also mean either early retirement or the need to actually postpone retirement in order to work to pay for medical bills and receive health insurance benefits. These are good reasons to consider investing in long-term health care insurance to support you through the unexpected.
6. Look for an environment where you can walk to places if the disability allows for that.
7. The Village Concept, which is fairly new, includes multigenerational living. These villages allow older residents to age in place. In these villages, the young residents support the older residents and the older residents pitch in when the younger residents need support with children or with illness. Some of these villages require a small fee to participate.
Looking For Support In All The Right Places
Many of us would rather not have to think about the possibility of dealing with a medical disability for ourselves or our partner. However, at this point in the planning process, it’s important to be realistic about life’s uncertainties. Plan ahead as much as possible but make sure you have a good support system in place. Are there family members and friends close by and available to help? What home care services are available to fill in when a friend or family member isn’t available? If you belong to a church, will you be able to reach out for support from some of the active church members?
Remember that whether you are raising children, taking care of aging parents, or just navigating your own aging process, it takes a village. Make sure that you have built a strong and cohesive “village” to support you now and in the future. Do as much as you can to stay healthy, active, and engaged in life no matter what your situation is.
Now go make the best of your life for the rest your life!
Dee
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
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