Boomers Experiencing Ageism
Aging is not a problem.
Aging is a process that allows you to surrender the things that matter least
so you can take hold of what matters most.”
—Dr. Bill Thomas
Respecting Age
In 2002, my sister and I took a trip to Sicily, Italy with my dad who was 84 at the time. Except for some mild cognitive impairment, he was in excellent physical condition and very agile. About 3 days into our tour of Sicily, we ate at restaurant where we had met our tour guides and enjoyed a wonderful dinner. As we left the restaurant and headed for a bus to take us back to the hotel, my dad tripped on a high curb and fell flat on his face. Immediately, there were residents flocking towards my dad to help him, even before my sister and I realized what had happened. Someone brought a chair for him to sit in, another brought a glass of water, and another used a cold compress for his bruises. Our private tour guide’s ex-wife was a doctor and he called her to come and make sure he hadn’t broken anything. He also made sure my dad’s broken glasses were repaired the next morning. My sister and I were amazed at the outpouring of kindness and generosity that we were not familiar with in our own culture. In the Italian culture, elders are revered and respected.
Back in the day, the elderly in many cultures were respected and looked to for their life and work experience. The wisdom they brought to the table of any venue they frequented was highly valued.
Ageism is a term coined by gerontologist Robert N. Butler, President and CEO of the International Longevity Center, to describe the discrimination against older adults. The World Health Organization defines ageism as stereotyping and discrimination against individuals or groups based on their age. Today, the term is also applied to all types of age discrimination whether it be towards children, teenagers, young adults, or people over 50 years of age.
Populations are often lumped into categories from young to old, eliminating any chance for individuality. This categorization influences our attitude towards a person or group we encounter. Some see gray hair and immediately believe the person is “over the hill.” Yet, despite these stereotypes, many boomers and older adults are reinventing themselves in a way they couldn’t have thought possible in their younger years because they didn’t have the necessary life experience to accomplish it.
Stereotypes work both ways. Many see teenagers as a handful who have terrible judgement. But, as a high school counselor, most of the teens I interacted with were great people, grounded at their place in life, and we learned from each other.
Even children have so much to teach us in the way of playfulness, intuition, and observation. Without language, they notice and have thoughts and ideas I would give anything to know more about. Children know how to “be” before they learn our society doesn’t reinforce that way of existing.
An article by Steven Petrow in the Washington Post entitled “I’m Sick of Everyday Ageism, Even My Own (December 22, 2020) caused Alison Bryant of AARP to write “Almost half of the population is over 50 but older adults are only shown in 15% of images.” Many magazines, media, and advertising campaigns perpetuate ageism in their portrayal of younger people as better and older people as frail and needing help. The anti-aging products industry suggests avoiding aging at all costs.
A profound and humorous You Tube entitled “Let’s End Ageism” by Ashton Applewhite presents a candid awareness of the many ways ageism creeps into our lives without us even realizing it. She addresses biases and negative messages we hear all through our lives that effect our attitudes towards aging. If you listen to it, her message will leave you enlightened and feeling better about where you are on the happiness/aging curve.
Work Trends And Ageism
Recently, I was asked to speak to a group of employees who were in their late 50s and early 60s. They had reached most of their professional goals and were beginning to experience age discrimination at work. It was validated by the fact that there were many opportunities for millennials to move, learn, and grow in the organization. Yet there were few opportunities for those who were older, seasoned, loved their work, were good at what they did, but may have wanted to move within the company to find new opportunities. They also noticed that their skills were not optimally utilized, and they were feeling somewhat stuck. However, they were often afraid if they approached a manager or CEO about a desire to use their skills in another department, they might be marginalized. They worried they might be put into a category of noncompliance because they were looking for a change, even though they still wanted to stay with and maintain loyalty to the company. There are many who fall into this in-between career stage and are falling between the cracks. This leads to boredom and loss of confidence and the underutilization of well-developed skills and creativity.
Ageism is a liability. The less we talk about it and keep it under wraps, the louder it becomes. It perpetuates itself in subtle ways and takes hold in our culture and workplaces. It leads to loss of confidence in employees when they know they still have a lot left to give and it isn’t being recognized. The research indicates this can often lead to unnecessary physical and mental health issues.
Boomers Ageism Advocacy
How can we begin to come out of denial and practice more self-efficacy regarding ageism? Here are some ways of being more proactive about this issue.
Do what you can to notice and raise awareness about ageism
Gently address bias comments. You know the ones: “s/he is over the hill,” they are having a “senior moment,” or “you look younger than your years” (even if it is true). You don’t have to be confrontational.
See others as unique individuals
Don’t group people by age. Once you put someone in a certain age group, it’s not long before you begin to let that stereotypical thinking trickle in.
Advocate for intergenerational collaboration in the workplace
As an older employee, you have unique and seasoned skills that younger workers don’t have, and younger employees have a different and fresher perspective on various ways of doing things. The truth is, we all need each other.
Come to a place of personal acceptance that we all age
This process begins the day we are born and continues until the day we die. It is unavoidable. The last thing we should do is fight it, judge ourselves, or compare ourselves to those younger than we are. They have their own challenges just like anyone of any other age.
Be willing to learn and grow with the times
Add fresh and new ideas and skills both in your professional and personal life.
Applaud the positive aspects of aging
For many, the struggle of getting an education, climbing the career ladder, and worrying that you aren’t good enough is easing up. Giving yourself credit for all your accomplishments and being comfortable in your own skin is well earned.
Remind yourself that you are a role model to others
You are an inspiration to both young and old. You are living your legacy every day of your life. You are acknowledged now for what will be left to those you love and care for.
Since the readers of this newsletter, like myself, are primarily soon-to-be-retired or retired, I want to leave you with a final thought.
Study after study has confirmed that our age group wins the Happiness Test (The Happiness Curve, Why Life Gets Better After 50 by Jonathan Rauch). By statistically significant percentages, we are more satisfied and happier with our lives than younger people who might be talented but are still trying to find their way in life.
So, put a smile on your face, toast with your favorite beverage, and marvel at all you have accomplished!
Dee
As you face the challenges due to COVID-19 as well as changes and transitions in life and work, I welcome the opportunity to assist you. I am available for virtual consultations and virtual presentations at this time instead of corporate and group seminars and community workshops. Please contact me.
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
The Life and Work Transitions Community
You’ve joined a great group — people who plan to make successful transitions in life and work. May you be inspired to use your strengths and skills to grow in this season and may each transition be your best ever.
Age is just a number.
Age well by determining what is important to you before you retire.
Ready To Retire? Successful Retirement Planning To Make The Best Of The Rest Of Your Life
