Change And Transitions: You Are The Common Denominator
My coaching practice and my presentations to groups are focused on changes and transitions. Transitions are our emotional reactions to the inevitable changes—both good and bad-in our lives. In the simplest explanation, we can think of changes as the actions that affect our lives. Transitions, however, are our reactions to these changes. In this newsletter, we’ll take a deeper dive into the nature of changes and how they relate to the transitions we all go through as part of living.
Changes in life and work are as common to our existence as the air we breathe. These are the pieces and parts of daily lives that continuously shift. Sometimes we are responsible for those changes in our lives and sometimes we’re not. Life certainly is a whole lot easier when we can predict an upcoming change in our lives and prepare for it. However, there are many changes that occur at various stages of our lives that we have essentially no control over.
Characteristics Of Change
The following are some characteristics of change.
- Changes come in two broad categories: positive or negative changes
- Change can be under our control or totally out of our control
- Change can occur quite abruptly or it can occur over a long period of time
- Changes can span the spectrum from trivial to life altering
- Some changes are easy to deal with while others are extremely difficult
- The effects of change can be either short-lived or very long-lasting
- Changes may affect many other people or it might only affect ourselves
- Some changes are known to others and some are known only to us
The most important characteristic of change is the first one listed above. Other words we could apply to these changes are happy versus sad; planned versus unplanned; gradual versus abrupt; temporary versus permanent; important versus on unimportant; easy versus hard, etc. Because of the significance of positive versus negative changes, I’d like to elaborate on them.
Positive Changes
Changes within our control are usually positive and do not have difficult transitions that we need to go through to accommodate them. If you’re having your first child, you have nine months to prepare. If you are seeking a work promotion, you are preparing for and initiating that change whether it happens or not. If you are a senior in high school or college and have completed the requirements, you will graduate and move on to a new stage in life. In each of these positive situations, there will be a transition which may or may not take very long or be very challenging. Transitions are much smoother and easier when you know about them in advance. You have time to adjust to the idea of a new marriage, buying a house, taking a trip, etc.
Of course, any one of these positive changes has the potential to create more complicated transitions. However, we usually have time to accommodate these changes because they often evolve over months and sometimes years.
Negative Changes
Negative changes, however, often come without warning as unpleasant surprises. An unexpected death in the family, a heart attack, or a stroke can be devastating. Usually, negative changes are unexpected, and can happen abruptly. Another important characteristic of negative changes is that we frequently have little to no control over them.
These kinds of unfortunate changes require a more complicated transition process because the element of surprise throws us into a state of shock, confusion, and disbelief. It takes time to accept a change that is undesirable, unexpected, and often creates some degree of loss. You can’t always predict the death of a loved one, even if they have been very ill. You can’t predict a heart attack or stroke so the transition that ensues from that kind of a change can be long and complicated. Even the consequence of a car accident can be unpredictable because the seriousness of that accident factors into the kind of transition you’ll have to go through.
The Common Denominator
Regardless of what kind of change life presents you with, the way you handle the transition will be up to you. We all have strengths, skills, and life experience that we have used in the past to move through minor as well as life-altering transitions. What can you do to create a healthy transition when these inevitable changes occur?
- Reflect on your life and previous experiences to best determine what worked well for you in making other transitions. Respect and repeat them.
- Be resourceful and gather the information related to this transition so you are informed and not wandering around in the dark.
- Seek out positive support. Ask those you love and trust for feedback and be transparent about what you are going through.
- Remember that you need to manage your emotions through any transition so there is no collateral damage to complicate the situation.
- Take good care of your body, mind, and spirit. Exercise, eat heathy foods, get enough sleep, participate in leisure activities to take your mind off the situation for a while, and avoid go-to bad habits like overeating and overdoing alcohol.
You may not be in control of a situation caused by a change, but you are in control of yourself while making the transition. Make the most of this experience so by the time your “New Beginning” occurs, you are stronger, more enlightened, and better than you thought you could ever be.
As you face changes and transition in life and work, I welcome the opportunity to assist you either on a one-on-one basis or in a group coaching setting in order to meet your needs. Please contact me.
703-435-2273
Dee@lifeandworktransitions.com
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
The Life and Work Transitions Community
You’ve joined a great group — people who plan to make successful transitions in life and work. May you be inspired to use your strengths and skills to grow in this season and may each transition be your best ever.
As you face changes and transition in life and work, I welcome the opportunity to assist you either on a one-on-one basis or in a group coaching setting in order to meet your needs. Please contact me.
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