If You Didn’t Have Your Career, How Would You Define Yourself?
All of us have so many ways of defining ourselves as we move through life’s transitions: child, teenager, young adult, college student, employee, mother, father, sister, brother, grandparent, and the list goes on. However, when we look at life as a whole, one of the primary and significant roles we have is the work that we do. For many of us, our work has defined us for most of our lives, helped to create a sense of who we are, and become part of our identity. It’s the lens we look through when we think about ourselves. When you have worked in a profession for as long as you have, it can be hard to uncover the other aspects of “who you are” besides “what you do.” For me, personally, it’s the most difficult lesson I had to learn and come to grips with. My journey can be summed up in a phrase I’ve used in previous newsletters: WHAT YOU DO IS NOT WHO YOU ARE.
My Professional Identity
Seeing myself separate from the work I do has been my biggest challenge during my ongoing transition to retirement. As a therapist, helping individuals and couples identify old and ineffective behaviors and find new and healthier ways to replace them has been very satisfying and fulfilling to me. It’s my passion. However, as much as I enjoy my work, I began to look at my work identity and wonder about what other aspects of myself might be undeveloped. I knew that I had to find more balance in my life and career. Even before I began my retirement journey, I always sensed that I wasn’t using all of my talents and potential. However, these feelings didn’t diminish my belief that the work I had been doing was important and significant to me.
It took a lot of introspection, evaluating, and letting go to come to the place I am today. The more I read, took classes, and talked to others about their retirement transition, the more it all began to come together for me. Today, I am in my therapy practice only two days a week. I design and present retirement and transition workshops for various government agencies and companies. I write books. I also read, write this monthly newsletter, and attend monthly meetings on public speaking while enjoying a full social life with friends and family. All of these activities still leave time for travel to a more leisurely lifestyle in Tampa, Florida the last 10 days of each month.
Doing An Identity Check
How have you been spending the last 30 to 40 years? What professional identity and skills have you developed that could be repackaged and repurposed in different ways? In working with various clients over the years, I discovered that the happiest and most successful people in retirement are not the ones who play golf five days a week. The happiest people are the ones who repurpose their skills and talents to create an interesting, balanced, and sustainable lifestyle.
One client who did a lot of writing in his work began to write novels and historical fiction along with other kinds of literature. He’s already published several books. Another client turned his business over to his sons. Now he does the part of his business he had little time for: staying in touch with current customers, networking, and marketing. This helps him get his social and professional needs met along with having more time for leisure. Another friend who retired from the government has taken his computer programming skills into the private business world and works part-time helping small businesses. He loves it because he still has time to travel and do the other things that are important to him.
Work Meets Needs
There are many reasons people work besides earning a paycheck. In fact, I came up with an acronym that describes the many reasons that our professions reinforce our identity with work. I call it “work provides.”
Wages
Occupation
Responsibility
Knowledge
Purpose
Relationships
Opportunity
Values
Identity
Direction
Experience
Structure
These are only some of the many needs and wants work provides for many of us. Pay close attention to the fact that the money you earn is only one out of twelve needs that work satisfies and this list is by no means finite. Most of us are so focused on the fact we have to work to earn money, we seldom think about the other important benefits we get from work. In fact, the reason many retirements fail is seldom about lost income. Retirements fail because we have not been able to replace many of the important needs work previously provided for us.
Why Do YOU Work?
Asking these kinds of questions will help you be more introspective about why you work and help you define yourself apart from the work you do. You can then use your answers to find other ways of satisfying those needs when you are no longer working in your career. Here are some additional reasons my clients tell me they work:
- Because I’m still healthy
- Work gives my life purpose
- It’s my passion
- It fulfills a need
- I like being with people
- I love learning
As you ponder this important issue, think about how your reasons for working can be applied to other aspects of your life. You need to realize you may live in retirement almost as long as you have worked for pay. Hopefully you can discover your work is only part of who you are. There is so much more to you that is yet to be revealed if you just take the time to explore.
Now go ahead and explore and make the very best of the rest of your life.
Dee
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
The Life and Work Transitions Community
You’ve joined a great group — people who plan to make successful transitions in life and work. May you be inspired to use your strengths and skills to grow in this season and may each transition be your best ever.
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