I Don’t Have All The Answers, Only Retirement Questions
When I have a difficult or complex life decision to make, I often resort to these six time-tested questions: Who? What? Where? When? How? Why?
People are under the impression that as a Retirement Lifestyle Coach, I have all of the answers but that is seldom the case. My job is not to give clients answers but to ask the right questions in order to elicit the answers that are right for them.
Let’s look at some of these questions to help you find some answers. Whether you are married or single, you can consider variations of these questions as they relate to your unique situation.
The “Who” of Retirement
Who will be affected by your retirement plans? You and your spouse are the first ones to consider. However, you shouldn’t overlook How your retirement will affect other people in your life. Are you both emotionally and financially ready to disengage from work? How much of your identity is attached to the work you do? I recently saw “The Big Year” with Steve Martin. He was trying to retire from a corporation he had built from the ground up. His dream was to observe and take pictures of as many birds as he could in one year and win the annual birding competition. Throughout his journey, his company kept calling him to come back to close this deal and that deal. He finally decided to say no. On his journey to win this competition, he realized that his family and hobby were more important to him than the business he spent a lifetime building.
How will your retirement dreams coordinate with what your spouse would like in retirement? Retirement can be such a complicated transition, especially for couples. It is hard enough to think about this transition for one person; it is even more complicated for a couple.
Have you made plans regarding How you will spend your time and money and are you and your partner in agreement on those plans? It will certainly affect your relationship, especially if you retire together and have to figure out How to navigate autonomy and togetherness in your new lives together. Do you still have dependent family members—parents, adult or disabled children, grandchildren—Who count on you for financial or emotional support? Do you have health issues that could force retirement before you are ready?
While it is less complicated if you are living alone, singles have to consider the responsibilities you still have and the importance of your family and friends in your life.
The “What” of Retirement
What will your purpose be in life without work? What values are important to you? Are you already living by them, and will your retirement reflect them? What are your current hobbies, interests, entrepreneurial desires, skills, and strengths? What legacy do you want to leave future generations?
What are your current obligations and responsibilities that could affect your retirement plans? Often we make plans in life, yet unforeseen circumstances derail those plans. An adult child goes through a divorce and suddenly comes home with a child while he/she gets back on their feet. An elderly parent needs medical and/or financial assistance. How flexible will you be when that happens? What reasonable boundaries might it be necessary to set so that you don’t have to give up your retirement plans?
In What way would a divorce or death of your spouse affect your retirement plans? This part of our lives is often unpredictable. Do you have the kind of support system that would help you get through these kinds of loss?
The “Where” of Retirement
One of the biggest challenges for some couples is deciding Where they want to retire. Some spouses want to stay close to home where friends and family are. Is one of you more adventuresome, wanting to travel more yet keep your home base? How will you handle a spouse who doesn’t want to travel? Do you and your spouse want to have a second home? Where would that second home be? Will your retirement funds support that lifestyle? Will the “Where” of your retirement be affected by an elderly parent needing you close by or your wanting to be closer to grandchildren? If you move for these reasons, will the climate and the lifestyle be comfortable for you?
The “When” of Retirement
When will you retire? Will you wait until you have more financial security for retirement? What changes could you make in your financial retirement plans to feel more confident about When you will retire? Many people are retiring to second careers, part-time employment, and entrepreneurial pursuits.
What will you do if your employer closed his business? Has a buyout and begins laying off employees? What if job responsibilities change for you and you decide that you don’t want any more learning curves in your career? Would you find another job or would you retire? What would you do if your employer asked you to relocate? Would you move, find another job, or retire?
Do you or your spouse have health issues that may influence When you retire? This is a very important question because you should retire while you still have the energy and the desire to do some different things with your life. I heard someone say recently, “Don’t work so long that you run out of juice.”
The “How” of Retirement
How have you planned financially to afford a comfortable retirement lifestyle? Do you have sufficient funds to lead the kind of lifestyle that you’ve always dreamed of after you leave work? If not, would you consider working part-time or re-careering and staying in the job market to secure more financial stability? Could you begin to live a retirement mindset even while you are still working full-time or part-time? 21st century Americans are living 20 to 30 years beyond traditional retirement. With good health, you will have a lot more productive years ahead of you.
How do you and your spouse plan to retire? There are several options depending on your situation:
Simultaneous Retirement: in this plan, each spouse would retire at the same time. This requires a lot of planning because you don’t want to become entrapped in the myth of blissful togetherness which some couples believe will happen. It’s important to have autonomy as well as togetherness in a relationship and this is even more important in retirement when there are fewer distractions like children and careers.
Consecutive Retirement: in this type of retirement plan, spouses retire at different times. One spouse may retire a year or two before the other spouse retires. Again, this requires a lot of planning so that the spouse Who is home knows What they want to do with their free time to bring purpose and meaning to their lives. Otherwise, the spouse Who is still working will worry about How their retired spouse is doing alone at home and may feel pressure to be home earlier and more often than before.
Phased Retirement: in a phased retirement, each spouse would work fewer hours per week over time. Some employers support their employees phasing out over a 1 to 3 year time period. Those who are self-employed can begin to reduce their schedule by hours each week or perhaps one day per week and then two days and so on.
The “Why” of Retirement
Why are all these issues so important to consider? Planning is the single most important element of retirement. Without a plan, most people will drift into idle busyness and wonder where their day and their life goals went.
Why planning for retirement is so crucial becomes more apparent as you wrestle with questions like
- Who will retire first?
- What will you do with your time and talents?
- When will you retire?
- Where will you retire to if you move?
- How will you financially afford to retire?
These are generic questions. I want to encourage you to create questions unique to you and your situation and then arrange them by priority. You will be amazed with the clarity that your answers will reveal. This very simple exercise will help you to begin to navigate your retirement transition more successfully.
As you consider the Who, What, Where, When How, and Why regarding your retirement, do it well, then go make the best of your life for the rest of your life.
Dee
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
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