Retirement: That Was Then, This is Now
The Greatest Generation’s Retirement
My dad retired in 1980 at 62 years of age, still a young and vibrant man. His retirement, like many in his generation, was to rest and pursue leisure activities. They had this mindset because few from that generation expected to live more than about 10 years beyond retirement. What a wonderful surprise to find that so many of them ended up living well into their 70s, 80s and even the 90s in my dad’s case. I don’t think he had any regrets about his 34 years of retired life. In fact, one day we were driving to the beach and I asked him if he wished he had done more in his retirement. He said, without missing a beat, “I’m not supposed to do anything. I let everyone else do the work now.” It was a great summary of the attitude of his generation. This is a generation that had survived the Great Depression and fought in World War II. In 1945, they came home to begin or resume their adult lives. They worked hard their whole lives and in their early to mid-60s, they just looked forward to rest and relaxation. Most of the people in my father’s generation retired to a life of leisure.
The New Retirement
Today the expectation for our generation is so different from our parents’ generation. We know we have 20 to 30 healthy years of life after work. Medical advancements, healthier lifestyles, more education, and enthusiasm for life have kept our generation moving at lightning speed even as we approach our retirement years. We’ve been hearing it for years…”60 is the new 50″ along with other variations of that concept. Generally speaking, our boomer generation has not been content to just retire to leisure. The age of 62 comes and goes and here we are, still in the throes of our careers. Many have left traditional careers and moved on to new careers or endeavors that are less fast-paced and perhaps completely different.
I’ve been reflecting on my own career and how it has evolved over the years. I began by teaching elementary school and then went on to become a high school counselor. After 20 years in the school system, I started my own private practice. Finally, at 55 years old, I embarked on a new career. I’ve extended my private psychotherapy experience to include Lifestyle Retirement Coaching for individuals. I also present workshops and seminars to groups of employees who are approaching retirement.
For most of my adult life, I’ve known my dad as a retired person. At 68, I’m already six years beyond my dad’s retirement age and have no interest in stopping. I do acknowledge that my emphasis has shifted to a meaningful but slower paced lifestyle, complemented by more time with family, friends, and leisure activities to balance out my life.
I see many of my friends, colleagues, and some family members extending their careers into their late 60s, 70s and even 80s. I have a friend whose mother is 92 years old and she still works as a greeter at a resort hotel in the town where she lives and she loves what she’s doing. Another friend’s husband who is in his 80s still works in his law office a few hours several days a week. Very impressive! From my experience and the research I have read, one of the most important activities in the aging process is to stay engaged socially and intellectually. That is exactly what these two role models are doing.
Best-Kept Secret
Even though our generation is thriving as we age, there’s a reality that begins to set in over time. That reality is we really don’t have to or don’t want to work as hard as we used to. Take a deep breath and realize that it’s okay at this time in your life to push the pause button and slow the pace for a while. Just be careful you don’t push the stop button by mistake. Pausing or slowing down is a reality that few of us might be willing to admit to. I’ll be the first to confess that I don’t have the same drive that I used to have. Maybe this is because I’ve always lived my life in overdrive. I’ll bet many of you can relate to this mindset.
As I help my clients, many of whom are still working, I have to be careful that I always “walk my talk” as I support them in creating a healthy work/life balance. As a generation, we have worked long and hard in our lives and need to allow ourselves more time for family, friends, reading a book, taking a snooze, taking that dream trip, starting a new hobby or sport, working part-time, starting a business, or volunteering. We can all strive to find a healthier pace for ourselves.
Finding Your Own Balance
While I’ve written several paragraphs contrasting my father’s retirement with today’s retirement, I’ve come to understand there are no absolutes. We’re all so different! Some of us are introverts and some of us are extroverts. Some of us want to be out and about and others are homebodies. Some of us have many more interests than others. Retirement is not a one-size-fits-all process. You have to design your retirement life just like a fine tailor would customize a suit for you. The selection of the material as well as the style of the cut and specific measurements are personal to you and will only look good on YOU and fit YOU well.
While no one can tell you what your retirement should look like, there are some general principles that you need to keep in mind:
- Staying engaged socially and intellectually is very important to a retiree’s sense of well-being. We all need other people in our lives in order to thrive.
- Staying physically active is clearly important to slowing the aging process and minimizing the impact that disease will have on our bodies.
- Learning new skills and challenging or adding to what you already know will keep you cognitively sharp. Using your skills in the engagement process will be valuable to others as well, especially because it comes with your well-developed wisdom.
A final thought. My family just passed the second Father’s Day without my dad. My greatest regret for him was that he didn’t use his extensive education, skills, and talents after he retired. I wonder if he had been more socially and intellectually engaged whether he would have maintained his memory for a longer period of time. Unfortunately, we will never know. We do feel blessed that he lived a great life and we had him for so long.
Now go forward, pacing yourself into a balanced lifestyle that will help you make the best of the rest of your life.
Dee
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
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