Healthy Relationships Lead To A Successful Retirement
Healthy, quality relationships contribute more to a successful retirement than any amount of money. Without them, any life stage can feel empty, but this is especially true in retirement. In the presentations I do for government agencies and private companies, the importance of relationships with colleagues, friends and family members is always an important topic of interest as employees prepare to retire.
The theme for the month of February is Valentine’s Day where often our attention is focused on honoring the relationship we have with our significant other. It is important to recognize the importance of that special person in your life. At the same time, you shouldn’t overlook the importance of other relationships in your life-friends and colleagues. This is especially essential as you plan for your retirement from work.
Included in the many benefits that work provides to us during our careers are work relationships. These are the relationships that occur naturally as you spend many hours together with co-workers week after week and year after year. To ensure successful outcomes, companies encourage team work that becomes part of the work culture. In many cases, the success of a project, proposal or initiative is a direct result of the quality of the relationships involved in this process. Most teams, whether they are sports teams or business teams, have to build the synergy necessary to produce great results.
What will happen when you retire and, for all practical purposes, you leave many of those relationships behind? As we all know, life in the workplace can be fast-paced, challenging and stressful as you strive to complete projects with your team. When you have more free time and your colleagues are still at work, things will change, but do they have to end?
Your Colleagues And Teammates
In many work situations, colleagues become friends not only because of the projects you work on but because of common interests, hobbies and shared family experiences with one another. That relationship is more inclined to remain intact after work if you have established routines outside of work. Regardless of whether you move away or stay in your current home, that relationship could be sustainable. Many military men and women I know have maintained relationships with their colleagues throughout their lives, even though they have moved often and are geographically separated. So much of the integrity and sustainability of a relationship depends on how hard you work at staying connected. All relationships require some degree of attention.
Proactive Vs. Reactive Friendships
I think it’s important to comment on different relationship styles so you can approach them with an open mind. In any personal as well as professional life, I have found there are several friendships styles. Here are two styles that stand out and are easy to identify:
If you are a proactive friend, you stay more engaged in your relationships by making phone calls, emailing, texting or doing Face Time in order to make plans to get together or to just talk. You are doing much of the “staying connected” work in your relationship. If you are accepting of that reality, you can continue that relationship. However, you may not even notice it until you are no longer in your work environment. In other words, once you discover you are doing all of the work, you may want to reevaluate if you are not able to achieve that give-and-take relationship.
When I left the school system to start my private practice, I worked hard at staying in touch with several of my colleagues. I soon found that they were not responding in the way I had expected. They were busy at work and I was no longer a part of their everyday work world. Our mutual interests did not extend beyond work. It was then that I realized how proactive I had been in those relationships.
If you are a reactive friend, you look forward to your friends calling, emailing, texting or in whatever way they stay in touch with you. Most of the time, you will respond when your friend reaches out. However, your style is to react to an invitation more often than you initiate contact. Neither of these styles is right or wrong. It just is. In some cases, speaking to this difference in style may create more balance with give-and-take if your friend is open to the conversation.
Managing Your Post-Retirement Relationships
Here are some ideas for you to consider to maintain the post-work relationships that are important to you as you begin to prepare for your retirement:
- Be aware of your proactive or reactive style and make adjustments if and when possible. Improve interpersonal skills when you experience a deficiency in your friendship style. Being interested in a friend’s life and work, asking questions, and making them feel important is one sure way to build and maintain strong relationships.
- Be realistic about your relationship expectations. Seeing a colleague after you leave work may not be as often or the same as it was while you were working. Value and appreciate what that relationship is as you manage your expectations.
- Begin now to establish and nurture friendships with groups outside of work so all of your relationships are not work-dependent.
- Identify interests and hobbies that will lend themselves to expanding your social network while you are still working.
- Whether you are married, in a committed relationship or single, make sure you are building healthy support systems of individuals and couples outside of your intimate relationship to expand your social circle.
Having healthy friendships requires that you be a good friend and work at all of your relationships.
Here’s hoping that your relationships are mutually nurturing to you and yours as you enjoy making the best of your life for the rest of your life.
Dee
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
The Life and Work Transitions Community
You’ve joined a great group — people who plan to make successful transitions in life and work. May you be inspired to use your strengths and skills to grow in this season and may each transition be your best ever.
Want more help for your life and work transitions?
Check out the Life and Work Transitions Strategies blog
Ready To Retire? Successful Retirement Planning To Make The Best Of The Rest Of Your Life
