Are Your Holiday Traditions Creating A Proud Legacy?
This month we celebrate two important holidays — Mother’s Day and Memorial Day. On Mother’s Day we honored our mothers and the significant difference they made in our lives. On Memorial Day we honor the men and women who have died serving in the military while protecting our right to live in a free country. What do these two holidays have in common? These holiday traditions honor those who have made our lives better by their personal sacrifices. You may be wondering what these holidays have to do with retirement.
These holidays represent the legacy we are leaving for future generations. A legacy is not about how much money or material possessions you will leave to others but about the values, traditions, and significant memories you will leave that define your contribution to your world. These traditions and rituals help us to stay anchored in who and what is important to us.
As I was reflecting on both of these holidays and their importance related to the traditions they represent, I thought about my mother and the influence she had in my life. This year marks the 40th Mother’s Day since she passed away. However, her spirit remains a vital part of my life today. My memories of her and what she represented are just as poignant as they were 4 decades ago. As I have grown older, I’ve reflected on the values and beliefs that we never talked about because she modeled them through her behavior. To commemorate Mother’s Day and our freedom to celebrate this holiday, I have reflected on her life and her ways of being that have significantly affected my life. This newsletter is dedicated to my mother who left this world much too soon and whose legacy lives on through me, and my brothers and sister and others whose lives she touched.
Mary was a first-generation Italian born in Elmira, New York in 1918. She grew up in the post-depression era and lost her mother to TB when she was only 14 years old. She graduated from a registered nursing program at St. Joseph’s Hospital and, true to her generous nature and love of children, she moved to Buffalo New York to work in an orphanage. My father, a schoolmate of her brother’s, fell in love with my mother’s fun-loving personality and good heart and followed her to Buffalo where they married just before the beginning of World War II.
My parents raised five children in the post-World War II baby boom. Because my mother only had one sibling, she loved my father’s large family. Every holiday and most Sundays after church we were with my father’s family. These gatherings were usually initiated by my mother because family was so important to her.
Lasting friendships were also formed through her work as a nurse and with the parents she met through our Catholic school upbringing. She created several long lasting social groups by gathering people together.
She was also the family and neighborhood nurse. If someone needed stitches, she would patch them up. If a friend or family member was having a baby, she would meet them at the hospital, even if it was in the middle of the night. When nurses-in-training were not able to go home for Christmas or Thanksgiving, she invited them to be with our family.
In 1968, my mother decided that she wanted to teach nursing at the college level, so she began efforts to get her college degree. She already had experience teaching in the three-year nursing program and enjoyed it. She loved learning.
Unfortunately, it was at this time that she was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors at St. Joseph’s Hospital recommended that she would receive the best treatment at the Leahy Clinic and the New England Baptist Hospital in Boston. She defied all odds when she was given only six months to live because she lived another 2-1/2 half years, long enough to reach a goal that kept her alive — holding her first grandchild. She died two weeks after her first grandchild was born.
My mother left a wonderful legacy for our entire family. The following highlight some of the lessons I learned from her:
- She demonstrated the value of family, caring for each other, and including others outside of our family into my life
- She knew the importance of having friends and a good support system for all life’s events — good and bad
- She emphasized how crucial it is to get a good education
- She modeled generosity and how to give without expecting anything in return
- She taught me faith and perseverance in the face of life’s many challenges
My mother taught me so many of the values that I live by today. I also hope that when my time comes, I can leave this world with the grace and dignity she demonstrated in her final days. She faced her illness with incredible courage, perseverance, faith, and trust in the belief that this was her time.
I hope that all of you had a wonderful Mother’s Day celebration with your family and that next week you will also honor those who died for our country so that we would have the freedom to practice all of these traditions and to live with gratitude for the lives that we have today.
Now go make the best of your family traditions as you enjoy your family and your freedom for the rest of your life. Happy Mother’s Day and Memorial Day!
Dee
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
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