Opportunities Camouflaged As Obstacles In Retirement
As a therapist and retirement coach, I try to stay current on various subjects related to both professions. For the last several years, I have been subscribing to “Neurology Now,” a free magazine about brain health. I have taken more of an interest in staying current with what’s going on in brain research because, as a therapist, I see clients with mental health issues including depression and anxiety. Brain health is also important as a Retirement Coach because research indicates that staying active and engaged as we age is imperative to brain health. This is also a personal issue for me because my father died of Alzheimer’s disease.
Inspiration At Its Best
This week I read an article about a woman who was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease, commonly referred to as ALS. When I saw the title, I expected to read a depressing article. Contrary to what I expected, the article has been an inspiration because of the author’s determination complemented by her exceptional positive attitude. In 1997, Dr. Catherine Wolf was in her mid-50s and was diagnosed with ALS after getting four different physicians’ opinions. She did a lot of research and actually had a good idea about what her diagnosis was, even before she received her final doctor’s diagnosis. At that point, Catherine realized that the most important decision she had to make was to accept her diagnosis. She believed that this was necessary in order to move forward with her life.
The prognosis for this disease is grim. Only 10% of the population diagnosed with ALS survives 10 years or more. She said in the article, “I was determined to connect with others who have this disease. Not only to learn from them but to become an advocate. I might be dying but I was not going to go quietly.” And that’s exactly what she did.
Catherine became an advocate through fundraising, giving speeches and drawing people to her. She wanted to participate in the process of discovering new treatments and finding a cure. Her most significant contribution was one of the poems that she wrote entitled A Thing or Two to Say Before Dying that has been used in many fundraisers. She decided to dig deeply into herself, set her priorities, and move forward. Seventeen years later, she is still alive and has seen the birth of four grandchildren. Here was a woman approaching retirement age, diagnosed with a fatal disease but determined not to go without a fight. By deciding to accept and live with this disease, she has found her life’s work.
My husband told me about an article that he had read about Stephen Hawking, a world-famous physicist, who was diagnosed with the same disease in 1963 and has lived for the last 51 years with ALS. People still come from all over the world to consult with him and he uses a computer to synthesize his voice to communicate his ideas and theories because he is totally paralyzed and unable to speak.
Lessons Learned
These two stories inspired me! They both speak to the importance of three lessons we can translate into pre-retirement preparation as we leave traditional work and transition to retirement.
1. Check Your Attitude
“What is the difference between an obstacle and an opportunity? Our attitude towards it. Every opportunity has a difficulty, and every difficulty has an opportunity.” J. Sidlow Baxter
I have to admit that I was one of those Boomers who wasn’t terribly optimistic and positive about retirement. It wasn’t clear to me why I felt that way initially, but I knew that I did not want the retirement lifestyle that I observed many others having. In one of my earlier newsletters, I identified several factors that affect our attitudes. They are the role models we grow up with, social influences, the media, and our own personalities. Ultimately, you must ask yourself the question “is my glass half empty or half full?”
As I journey through my second half of life, my attitude is that I will grow where I’m planted unless that place is not serving me well. If that happens, I will then begin looking for more fertile ground to accommodate necessary changes. Sometimes we have to be flexible and make adjustments in our lives due to our circumstances. What is your attitude about your transition to retirement? Can you make the most of your life and your skills and discover your passion? Can you be flexible and make accommodations along life’s way? Having a positive attitude is half of the challenge.
2. Stay Engaged
It is importance to stay engaged in life to find your passion. What will that be for you? Catherine Wolf and Stephen Hawking are struggling with a debilitating disease and yet they are leaving their mark in this world. They’re not letting life pass them by. They are staying engaged, have found their passion, and are paying it forward.
Too many people who leave work disengage from life. There are too many stories about retirees stopping, withdrawing and letting life pass them by. They believe their work is done and they have no further responsibilities but life doesn’t work that way. You need challenges that give you a reason to get up in the morning. We have to uncover the WHAT!
In spite of all of the research regarding having purpose at all stages in life, many will be content to retire to a life of leisure. There’s nothing wrong with having fun in retirement. After a while, it may not be enough. There is so much more that you can do with all of the education, experience, talents, and interests you have gathered along life’s way. You can use these attributes in whatever way you want to. Social entrepreneurs can see there is plenty to do in our world and environment.
You might be struggling with what else you’ll do besides work. I can understand, because I have been on the same journey. It takes time, thought, and awareness of what is going on inside and outside of your world to find your way. You can work part-time, recareer, volunteer, start your own business, or become a socialpreneur. (See links below)
3. Nurture Relationships
One of the benefits of staying engaged is having meaningful relationships. Without the support of very special people in their lives, Catherine Wolf and Stephen Hawking wouldn’t be able to do the work they’re doing. Who are the most important people in your life and how can you nurture those relationships?
I believe it is never too late in life to begin doing that. I’ve had clients who have resolved difficult relationships with a family member or friend because both were willing to invest in those relationships. Both must be willing to reach out.
Barbara Streisand made popular a song whose verse is still well known, “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.” The challenge is choosing the right people. By staying engaged, you will be reaching out to your family, friends, and your community. You may even bring them along with you as you make your mark on the world. It’s mutually satisfying because when you enrich others’ lives, they also enrich yours.
Resources To Get You Started
Here are some ideas for you to explore as you begin to imagine your next step in life after work. Make it count, one step at a time.
http://www.Encore.org: A boomer’s guide to good work
http://www.Habitat.org: Changing lives by building homes
http://www.PeaceCorps.gov: Service abroad
http://www.Americorps.gov: Service in the U.S.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_entrepreneurship: Finding innovative solutions to social problems
http://usm.maine.edu/olli/national/: Lifelong Learning Institutes by geographic area
Now go make the best of your life for the rest of your life.
Dee
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
The Life and Work Transitions Community
You’ve joined a great group — people who plan to make successful transitions in life and work. May you be inspired to use your strengths and skills to grow in this season and may each transition be your best ever.
Want more help for your life and work transitions?
Check out the Life and Work Transitions Strategies blog
Ready To Retire? Successful Retirement Planning To Make The Best Of The Rest Of Your Life
