Reflect On The Past To Plan Your Future
Progress is impossible without change, and
those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
—Dennis Waitley consultant, author, speaker
Most of us approach a new year with plans and goals to make our personal, family, professional, and community lives better. With the beginning of a new year, we’re inspired to make changes to improve our lives. As we contemplate those changes we want to make, how will we know what we need to do differently? The simple answer is we need to reflect on and assess the various aspects of our lives during the past year. Without this introspection and review, we can’t make well-informed decisions about our new direction.
Some of the changes you’re considering will probably require a transitional process or emotional adjustment. Because we are impatient to make the change, we may want to just skip over the transition process and get on with new event, new job, new behavior, or the new you. However, without an assessment and doing the hard work of going through the transition process, you might hijack your success for the changes you want to make in the coming year.
Personal Reflections
Personally, you might want to change a relationship, develop a healthier lifestyle, or even make a major commitment like getting married and/or starting a family. This desire to change some aspect of your life is often caused by a significant event like the loss of a job, the death of a loved one, a divorce, entering a new stage of life, retirement, or other-often unplanned—events. Changes in your internal world can create an internal shift causing you to question various aspects of your life, which is something you may not have expected. With any personal transition, we often want to forget about what happened, make a clean break from the past, and just move on.
You may look at this transition process as an uncomfortable annoyance, but it can also be an opportunity. As you use your rational thoughts and your feelings as a guide, you might be able to move forward successfully without changing the people and things in your environment.
Within the past several years, six family members-including my father-have passed away. These losses rocked my world. Everything seemed turned upside down for a long time. I used this time, with professional and family support, to reflect and guide me through the grieving process. It changed some of my thoughts and feelings on life, death, and the pursuit of what is important to me. While I was changing, the people and things around me didn’t have to change, although as my behavior changed, I noticed family related to me differently. Often, it’s a matter of adjusting to new circumstances that have occurred with a different mindset, looking at where you are through a new “perspective” lens, and finding peace and acceptance within yourself.
In my professional experience as a therapist during the last 30 years of my private practice, I’ve seen many divorced clients experiencing the same relationship problems, only with a different partner. This usually occurs because one spouse becomes impatient and unhappy with their marriage for various reasons. They end their marriages and begin new relationships without reflecting on their part in the failure of their previous marriage. They’ve lost the opportunity to transition with more self-understanding by short-circuiting the possibility for a healthier relationship the next time around.
Predictably, many of the problems resurfaced in their new relationship because they were never dealt with in the prior marriage or divorce. As we worked together, I helped them reflect on their past behaviors, develop better self-understanding to make the appropriate changes, and be more successful in their current relationship.
Professional Reflections
Professionally, a change requiring a transition could be related to your current work position, getting more education to facilitate a promotion, changing careers, or pursuing a retirement career. In the past, you have probably changed your work situation by quitting your job or changing careers altogether. Perhaps you are now in a company going through some changes and you’re having a hard time with the subsequent transition.
Have you ever left a professional position because you were unmotivated or because you believed your skills were underutilized? Maybe you were undervaluing your skills, not confident enough, afraid to take risks and speak up. Perhaps you were undervaluing yourself and even believed you chose the wrong profession. It wasn’t what you wanted but what someone else thought would be best for you. Did you reflect on what happened and why you ended up in that situation? This is the value of reflecting on where you’ve been to determine where you want to go.
Community Reflections
Community includes those aspects of your life that are outside your personal, family, and career environments. Are you in a community, neighborhood, or religious organization that is making significant changes and you are not sure if or where you fit into these changes? Community is a significant and vital part of many of our lives. It can be the anchor for your work, family, and yourself. When changes happen within a community—whether it’s a change in leadership, an increase in crime, or growth and development—everyone is affected directly or indirectly within that group. As you experience the transitions within your community, think about what you’re going to miss from the way things used to be in 2017. Then focus on the things that you are going to look forward to in creating a new sense of community.
Reflective Tips For Making 2018 Successful
- Reflect on your personal and professional circumstances. Ask yourself: What has gone well in the last year and made you feel good? Then reflect on what didn’t go well and ask yourself: What do I need to let go of in the new year?
- Were there changes in your professional life or circumstances that you are still struggling with? Reflect on the aspects of the situation you want to let go of and the positive parts you want to remember and carry into the new year.
- Explore your community involvement. What are the ways you did or didn’t contribute to the growth of your community? What benefits are you experiencing from your involvement with community and what do you need to let go of that isn’t serving you well?
- Finally, take the time you deserve to explore your mindset, attitude, and feelings regarding reflections on family, work, and community. Use your self-understanding to grow into the person you want to be in this new year.
Changes in one aspect of your life can often affect other areas of your life. Be aware and intentional! Reflections on the positive and negative aspects of your experiences in 2017 will give you a more grounded approach for a more successful 2018.
Best wishes for a successful and enlightened new year!
Dee Cascio
As you face changes and transition in life and work, I welcome the opportunity to assist you through corporate presentations, group seminars, and community workshops. Please contact me. Please contact me.
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
The Life and Work Transitions Community
You’ve joined a great group — people who plan to make successful transitions in life and work. May you be inspired to use your strengths and skills to grow in this season and may each transition be your best ever.
Want more help for your life and work transitions?
Check out the Life and Work Transitions Strategies blog
Ready To Retire? Successful Retirement Planning To Make The Best Of The Rest Of Your Life
If you found this information helpful, please share with family, friends, fans, followers, colleagues, and people in your network. Invite others to subscribe to this Life and Work Transition Strategies Newsletter.
