Relationships That Survive Retirement
A 2001 US Consensus Bureau Report showed that the highest divorce rate-averaging 40%-was now among 50-59 year olds. This trend has even been given the name “Gray Divorce.”
Marriage Relationships In Retirement
As couples approach retirement at a later stage in marriage, spouses’ roles are less clearly defined. Free from child-rearing, career building, and caring for aging parents, roles are bound to change. Whether they realize it or not, retirement also has a way of rearranging a couple’s relationship. Women, who have often sacrificed their needs for the family even when they have had careers, want additional time and opportunities to explore new interests. Men, on the other hand, are expecting more time with their wives because they are not working long hours away from home.
For your relationship to survive retirement, you need to plan for this next stage of your lives. Work together to decide:
- How to handle money
- Who will tackle which household responsibilities
- How to maintain your autonomy
- Whether to move or stay in place
- How to maintain separate and common friendships
- What interests you can pursue together and which you will engage in independently
Nurture Your Relationship
Take these steps to divorce-proof your relationship in retirement:
- Plan for retirement at least 3-5 years before you actually retire.
- Set aside at least one hour a week to discuss and make decisions together concerning recareering, finances, family, personal development, leisure, health and wellness.
- Remember to listen as well as talk.
- Write your plans down so you can refer to them later.
- Be willing to try new roles or shared roles to keep your relationship and your skills strong.
- Get professional help to reconnect if you and your partner are living parallel lives in your marriage before retirement.
You may also benefit from the advice in these blog posts:
How to have a lasting relationship
How to maintain a solid marriage through the transition to retirement
How to have a happy healthy marriage in retirement
May the planning you and your partner do together for retirement help you make the very best of your life for the rest of your life.
Dee
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
The Life and Work Transitions Community
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Ready To Retire? Successful Retirement Planning To Make The Best Of The Rest Of Your Life
