Successful Transitions Require Attitude Awareness
We live in a changing world whether we like it or not. Sometimes it can seem like you’re looking through a kaleidoscope. Just like the colors and shapes change in a kaleidoscope depending on the direction and speed with which you turn it, our lives and circumstances can change abruptly.
Our World In Transition
“Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with life is what makes the difference.”
— Virginia Satir, Social Worker, Author
Daily, we are faced with uncontrollable changes like global warming, threats of terrorism, and economic uncertainties. We’re often unable to control changes even in our own families, neighborhoods, and communities.
With these changes comes the transition that must take place for us to accommodate these unplanned events. We need to be able to navigate the terrain of the transition to a more stable world and therefore, a more secure life. Our sense of security comes not only from our circumstances but from our attitude.
An Attitude Check
One of the ways we can make these transitions successful is by doing an attitude check to understand what our attitude lens looks like. Are the colors in our kaleidoscope lens gray/black or are they yellow, red, and green?
It’s hard to change a behavior you’ve been doing for a long time. It’s difficult to let go of personal or professional relationships when you still have strong feelings for that person. Having to move to a new town or big city because of work, downsizing your home or lifestyle, or transitioning to retirement can be daunting and even overwhelming.
How Do Psychologists Define Attitude?
Psychologists and researchers suggest that there are several different components that make up attitudes. Kendra Cherry, author of the article Attitudes: How They Form, Change, and Shape Behavior, shared an interesting approach to attitudes. She referred to the ABCs of attitude:
- Affective Component: how the person, issue, or event makes you feel
- Behavioral Component: how your attitude influences your behavior
- Cognitive Component: your thoughts and beliefs about the event or person
Attitudes can be positive or negative, or they may fall somewhere in between, leaving you with a mixed feeling about some transitions. While you might be excited about relocating your home for a new job or promotion, someone else might look at this same move as drudgery and an inconvenience.
How Attitudes Are Formed
Many attitudes are created by the role models we experienced when we were much younger. Our parents and extended families were usually our most influential role models. We noticed how they made transitions in their lives, revealing their feelings, attitudes, and prejudices about it. Our own attitudes toward life were influenced by how successful our role models were in making these transitions.
We’re also continuously bombarded by society’s attitudes concerning challenging transitions. The message is we should be able to do the things that aren’t really that easy for everyone to do. Consequently, some people decide to use medication, drugs, or alcohol to ease the pain of difficult and uncomfortable transitions.
We also bring our personality and temperament into every significant transition. Is our glass half empty or half full? Do we look for alternatives when things don’t go our way, or do we succumb to paralysis or victimization? Do we look for lessons and a silver lining in some of the trials, tribulations, and losses in life or do we feel defeated, depressed, and can’t get out of our own way?
Do we truly believe that if we “change our attitude, we can change our life”? Are we self-reflective as we think and feel our way through a life event or do we go through it with only small parts of ourselves and miss the growth opportunity?
Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor at the University of California, Riverside, has been studying happiness for years. In her research, she discovered that each of us has a “set point” for our feelings. If something positive happens, you’ll feel happy for a while or if there’s a negative event, you’ll feel sad, but eventually you’ll go back to your set point.
Lyubomirsky and other researchers found that our genetic set point is responsible for only about 50% of our happiness, while life circumstances affect about 10%. However, 40% of our happiness is completely controlled by us and is determined by our attitude, habits, and behavior.
As you ponder whatever transition you are going through, you may not realize how your attitude is influencing you. If you can face life’s requirements with a “can do” attitude, even if it’s hard, you are building self-confidence and modeling perseverance and resilience for those around you. What a gift!
Suggestions For Improving Positive Attitude Awareness
- Make sure you are getting the support you need from family, friends, and trusted resources in your community.
- Find a light at the end of the tunnel by looking for one or two positive outcomes of this transition.
- Do a gratitude list weekly to stay focused on what’s important to you and your circumstances. Avoid dwelling on what’s wrong!
- Make a list of all the resiliency skills you’ve used in the past and put them into action now!
- Build your confidence by reflecting on past behaviors used to make successful transitions.
Norman Vincent Peale wrote a groundbreaking book in 1952, The Power of Positive Thinking, and it’s still in print. It paved the way for future research. He wrote his book in response to his own challenges growing up and how his positive attitude influenced his life’s direction. He said, “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers, you cannot be successful or happy.”
If you develop “Attitude Awareness,” you will then be able to keep a positive attitude and use it to guide you in any transition in the future. You’ll also build confidence in your coping skills. You must truly believe you’ll get through whatever transition is present in your life and surround yourself with those who also share that attitude.
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
As you face changes and transition in life and work, I welcome the opportunity to assist you either on a one-on-one basis or in a group coaching setting in order to meet your needs. Please contact me.
The Life and Work Transitions Community
You’ve joined a great group — people who plan to make successful transitions in life and work. May you be inspired to use your strengths and skills to grow in this season and may each transition be your best ever.
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