The Art Of Becoming In Retirement
Follow your heart and your intuition.
They somehow already know what you truly want to become.”
—Steve Jobs
Our country is beginning to open at different rates, depending on where you live and the phase your state is currently in. None of us chose to have this unfortunate circumstance take over our world. The only thing we do have control over is how we respond. I see an ironic parallel between this pandemic and the lifelong career many of us have been committed to. While we didn’t choose this pandemic, many of us also didn’t select a career that reflected who we really are. But in both circumstances, we have done the best we could. However, the question remains: did the career you chose reflect your personality, needs, skills, passions, and the person you truly are?
Your Work
One of the fallouts from the pandemic is that many companies are furloughing employees and those jobs may never come back. If you have the option and have planned well financially, you might be thinking about retirement and wanting to begin to enjoy the life that you have been looking forward to for years. For many, that will include doing some activities that may include part-time work.
When you were young, you might have chosen your career path for many different reasons. You may have opted for a path based on what your parents, teachers, or counselors recommended. You might have followed your instincts and picked a career based on your interests and abilities. You could have just stumbled into your career because of serendipity, coincidences, or some other random event.
If you were fortunate to have a career that you loved and a career that reflected who you are, you are very lucky. Unfortunately, too many people haven’t had that experience. This newsletter is for all those who have been unhappy in their career and wished they had taken a different path.
Regardless of how you selected your lifelong career path, you may have felt that you weren’t headed in the right direction or you weren’t following your own compass. Another clue is if you felt that your career path was a struggle, showing up in emotional and physiological symptoms. You may have chosen a profession that everyone said you were good at but you really didn’t like. Often, family members are expected to work in a family business as a part of the succession planning when it really is not what a family member wanted to do. Unfortunately, this often results in us becoming what others expect of us instead of becoming who we really are.
When you are in the flow with your career choice, work seems effortless and you feel fulfilled most of the time. Nothing is perfect. In my experience, I’m blessed to have chosen a career path where I’ve been in the flow starting as an educator, moving into my private practice as a psychotherapist, and adding life/retirement coaching as a compliment to my practice.
Choices
The problem with “getting off on the wrong foot” is at some point in your career you realize you’re on the wrong path, but by then it’s often too late. You have received what we refer to as the “golden handcuffs.” Because you have established a reputation for your skills and experience, worked towards additional credentials and promotions, made contacts with influential people, and acquired additional education, re-careering often entails incredible sacrifice and effort. There might be additional education or training, credentialing, and perhaps a substantial cut in salary as well. The metaphor I like involves train travel. When you get to the station to buy your ticket, you can go in any direction you want. However, if you later decide you don’t like the direction you’re headed in, you often don’t have any choice but to return to your original destination point and completely start over.
A New Opportunity
Mindfulness gives you time.
Time gives you choices.
Choices, skillfully made, lead to freedom.”
—Bhante Henepola Gunaratana
It’s important that you view this next chapter in your life as an opportunity to make choices based on your life experience, self-awareness, knowing what you like and don’t like, and doing the internal work to become who you were always meant to be. If you felt you didn’t make the optimum career choice when you were younger, you now have a second chance.
When my husband was growing up, he knew that the only way out of the poverty he grew up in was to get a good education. He entered a work-study program at Johns Hopkins University and was able to get his degree in electrical engineering, a field that interested him and he had the talent for. As he entered his field of engineering, he completed a second undergraduate degree followed by a master’s degree. After many years of progressing in his career with promotions and with increasing responsibilities, he had an epiphany. He came to realize he didn’t like working for a large company and longed to find a way that he could work for himself. As he approached 40 years old, the desire within him to pursue his own direction became unbearable for him. Despite his executive title, good salary, and job security, he decided to start over. He began forming limited investment partnerships with family, friends, and colleagues to purchase real estate, which is what he’s enjoyed for the last 40 years. It can be done.
This current uncertainty we are all facing is an opportunity to explore more of who you are, what you want to do, why you want to do it, and when the best time is for you to do it. Taking action is vital to a plan or it will just die on the vine. Now is the time to move from doing work you don’t enjoy to doing what you love, work that reflects who you are.
Now What?
Ask yourself these questions:
- What are your expectations of yourself right now as you reflect on the excitement you felt when you began your first career? What excites you now?
- What actions can you take to make your dreams and expectations happen? Do you want to volunteer, work part-time, pursue activities you’ve never had time for?
- What will help you to move forward when you have a desire but you don’t have a plan? Who in your circle is a fan and can support you through conversations and ideas?
- Do you have goals and aspirations as you approach your next life chapter? Research shows that you are happier and more fulfilled when you have at least one goal you’re excited about and working towards.
- Despite all the current uncertainty, you may now have the time to think about what drives you. Is it creativity, working towards a better environment, lifelong learning, entrepreneurship, fighting poverty or injustice…? What can you do with your drive and passion?
Our generation has an abundance of education, training, experience, and ingenuity. We all need to use our gifts to find our sense of purpose and contribute to our communities in some way. There is life after work and work after retirement and now, maybe for the first time in your life, you are in the driver’s seat and you get to choose.
Dee
As you face these uncertain times due to COVID-19 as well as changes and transitions in life and work, I welcome the opportunity to assist you. I am available for virtual consultations and virtual presentations at this time instead of corporate and group seminars and community workshops. Please contact me.
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
The Life and Work Transitions Community
You’ve joined a great group — people who plan to make successful transitions in life and work. May you be inspired to use your strengths and skills to grow in this season and may each transition be your best ever.
Tools for pursuing your passion and work that you love
Ready To Retire? Successful Retirement Planning To Make The Best Of The Rest Of Your Life
