Turning Change Into Lasting Transformation
Imagine experiencing a life-altering personal or professional change. It could be losing your job, losing your spouse through death or divorce, reluctantly having to move to keep your job, or retiring from a long-term career that now defines you. You’re challenged by this change and wonder how you’ll ever survive the ending of this chapter in your life.
Now imagine that this life-altering change creates the opportunity to be transformed in a way that you never expected. What would that ray of light look like at the end of a dark hallway you’ve found yourself in?
What Is Transformation?
Recently, as one of my clients was leaving the office, she made a comment that stayed with me. She said, “You know, I’ve always been interested in change and transformation.” The concept of transformation caught my interest. Although I had heard the term before, I hadn’t considered it as the true outcome and next stage of change and transition. The concept had such an interesting resonance to it, yet it seemed elusive. How can we, as complicated human beings facing all kinds of life-altering changes, turn change and transitions into a transformation?
This question led me to literature that complements my work on change and transition. In fact, it adds a whole new dimension to it.
I found an interesting article by Robert Gass, executive coach, leadership consultant, and founder of the Rockwood Leadership Institute. His article—”What Is Transformational Change?”—was enlightening. He referred to transformation as holistic and a systems approach, deriving its power from the intersection of heart and mind followed by action as we interact with the changes we are facing. His quote by Gandhi fit perfectly.
We must be the change we want to see happen in the world.”
—Gandhi
We must focus on our present situation, where we are now, while we create a vision for our future, keeping in mind that we may have to let go of our past beliefs. You can coexist with being present for your daily life, while sorting out your next steps.
Reflecting on this concept of transformation, I thought of the many people I’ve known personally and professionally who have undergone a transformation in the face of change. You may relate to some of the following changes:
- A planned or unexpected divorce
- The death of a loved one
- Being fired or laid off from your work
- A move to a new city, leaving behind friends and family
- Preparing for retirement after 30-40 years of devoted service
In many of these situations, you can courageously move through these important transitions and create a transformation you could not have predicted.
For example, I’ve worked with clients who are going through a divorce. In the process, they discovered many strengths they didn’t know they had, discovered things about themselves they wanted to change, and were able to transfer the strengths and self-knowledge to other aspects of their lives. This empowered them to transform what felt like a failure into a successful outcome.
When I’m helping clients prepare for retirement, they are extremely anxious and fearful about leaving work, facing empty days without the purpose their work gave them. As they plan their lifestyle, they begin to envision a life they can design themselves, leading them to a lasting feeling of confidence, success, and meaning.
Whether you have control of these changes or not, you’ll have to allow yourself to transition through the process-sometimes a grieving process, too-to experience the gift of a true transformational experience.
The ability to transform your situation or yourself is multidimensional and requires many transition and resiliency skills. Some skills you already possess and some you’ll learn along life’s way.
Skills For Achieving Any Kind Of Transformational Change:
- Be honest with yourself about what’s happening and have the courage to face reality.
- Realize that asking yourself “Why is this happening to me?” is normal. However, getting to the transitional phase of answering the questions, “What can I do now and what is the life lesson I’m supposed to learn?” is necessary to experience transformation.
- Keep an open mind and heart to a new way of thinking and feeling as you let go of old beliefs and ways of thinking.
- Look for the positive from the situation and focus on what you can do and not what you can’t do. This is a very important resilience skill.
- Let go of the way things were and treat your past with respect. It will give you more leverage as you move forward.
- Get all the support you need to move through the transition. Transformation comes from realizing you are not alone and you need the interconnectedness of family, friends, and community.
- Be aware that as you personally grow because you are activating these skills, other aspects of your life will take on different meaning and be a part of your transformation.
- Take a break with a fun activity to distract yourself temporarily so you can come back to your growth work refreshed.
This is not about being perfect. It’s about putting forth the effort to practice these skills each day, being patient with yourself and allowing the transformation to occur. You want to discover lasting success and not a fleeting way of being. Your transformation will be grounded in the practice of possibility, courage, a supportive environment, and trusting yourself. You’ll have a lifelong skill you’ll have access to any time you find yourself navigating a change, whether expected or unexpected. Strive for transformation for successful, lasting change.
Dee
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
As you face changes and transition in life and work, I welcome the opportunity to assist you through corporate presentations, group seminars, and community workshops, please contact me.
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