Where Has All The Time Gone? You Decide
If you are like most people, you have too many things to do and not enough time to do them. As they say, “join the club.” One of my new year’s resolutions was to look more carefully at how I spend my time. As a result, I recently began reading Julie Morgenstern’s book Time Management from the Inside Out. This book was suggested by a client and then by others who acknowledged that they had read the book and had implemented some of her useful ideas.
When we are working, this elusive commodity of time challenges us to squeeze as much as we can into every minute of the day. The illusion is that once we are retired we have all the time in the world to do the things we’ve always wanted to do. Unfortunately for many of us, retirement will not fix the “not enough time dilemma.” If we don’t plan well, we can end up taking time for granted and not accomplishing half of what we had intended to do.
The Reality of Time
We all have 24 hours a day and it’s important to sleep at least seven to eight hours at night. That leaves us 16 to 17 hours to spend on a litany of obligations, requirements, and activities. We have six important life arenas that we live in daily. If you look at the six life arenas of career/work, family, health, self-care, leisure, and personal development, you can easily see how those 16-17 hours are absorbed throughout the day.
Some of you will be challenged by retirement because you have not learned how to manage your time and schedule without the discipline and structure imposed by work. As you reflect on your life after retirement, you might realize that time management might be an essential missing skill. Those of you who are actively anticipating retirement may be worried about what you will do with all of the time that you will have and whether you will feel fulfilled by the activities that you chose to replace work.
Others may have so many things they want to do that they get overwhelmed and don’t accomplish half of what they expected to. Sometimes outside forces affect our ability to get things that we had planned to do done. There may be a lot of needs from family members you may have to accommodate. If you are in transition between jobs or beginning or ending a relationship, these distractions could easily create confusion about how you want to use your time.
Still others of us stand in our own way with emotional issues like anxiety or depression as it relates to this life stage. You might feel conflicted about wanting to be in a traditional retirement mode (and do nothing) as opposed to defining the activities that you would like to make a part of your retirement plan. Being vague about your goals and priorities can put you at the mercy of others who will define your time by putting demands on you. While you can stay busy meeting the needs of others, will these activities provide purpose and meaning in your life? Finally, are you worried about failing if you try something new-like starting a new business, going into a totally different career, pursuing a lifelong dream, or working on a relationship that needs attention?
No matter which category you fall in, the questions remain the same. How will you create your own schedule and direct your own life while managing this precious commodity we call time? Does this mean that you once again have to carry a day planner? Do you have sticky notes and to-do lists in a variety of different places? Have you organized a working space for yourself but are not sure what you want to work on? Read on.
What I’ve Learned
Through reading Julie’s book, I’ve had some revelations about several aspects of my relationship with time that I had not been fully aware of, things that are now clearer to me.
- I’ve had to learn some technical approaches to better time management. For example, a long list of things to do in one day is not practical or realistic. I am beginning to focus on one or two things to do each day, in addition to work. Even if I spend 15 to 30 minutes on them, I’m making progress.
- Relationships are just as important, or more important, than my to-do list. For example, I want to spend more time with my dad, who will be turning 94 next month and is in assisted living. That is one of my priorities. As I honor that priority, I will also spend more time with other family members as we gather for meals and outings together. This is not a totally unselfish act of love because I have learned so much more about my dad and myself over the last several years because of the quality and quantity of time spent with my father.
- Some of the emotional issues regarding time have become clearer to me. At a very young age, I learned that staying busy and being productive were valued by my parents’ generation. I’m now realizing that the “being busy all the time” mindset is standing in the way of being present, relaxing, and just being where I am in my life or being present at an event.
- I have also found that my perfectionistic tendencies keep me from accomplishing goals that are important to me. Along with perfectionism goes the fear of failing, of not being perfect. “Good enough” is somewhat of an alien concept for me. This bind can be daunting. I’m finding that meditation, better time management, and incorporating more of Julie’s suggestions are helping me to work through these obstacles. I call this the perfectionistic fear of failure/success challenge and I am rising to the occasion.
Take Charge of Your Time
Whether you are still working, retired, or semiretired, you can be under the illusion that you have all the time in the world. Then you wake up one morning and find that time is slipping away. Take charge of your life and your time and try some of Julie Morgenstern’s suggestions:
- Keep a day planner or digital calendar with at least one priority per week that you can commit to accomplishing. Get someone to hold you accountable.
- Chunk out the time you need — one to two hours or one half day to work on a project, go to the gym, or spend time with loved ones.
- Look at the aspects of your life—externally and internally—that are holding you back from using the precious time you have, then get started on setting priorities.
- Use the six life arenas to establish your priorities and put your time where your attention is-follow through. You will be much happier and you will make your world a better place to live in.
Make your time count while you make the best of your life for the rest of your life.
Dee
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
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