Where To Retire? Plan For Unexpected Surprises
It’s been ten years since I began my retirement coaching journey. At the outset, it was important to me that I “walk my talk!” I didn’t want to discuss retirement concepts with my clients on a theoretical or abstract basis. Instead, I wanted to focus my work as a retirement lifestyle coach on real-life situations.
One of the first questions of many to come was where do we want to live when we retire? This meant that somehow I needed to incorporate a personal desire my husband, Tom, and I had for a second home in a warmer climate into my private practice. This is a concept we had talked extensively about over the years. In spite of our desire to have a second home, we knew we weren’t prepared to give up our lifetime of family and friends in northern Virginia four or five months a year to become snowbirds. Nor were we willing to change our permanent residence to Florida and have only short visits back home to visit with family and friends. Additionally, we didn’t want to postpone our decision to purchase a second home until we were older and fully retired. We wanted to realize our “dream” and get on with the next phase of our lives sooner rather than later.
As a result of our frequent discussions and a two-year discovery process, we purchased a second home in south Tampa, Florida in 2007. We purchased in a high-rise city condominium with lovely views of Tampa Bay. We created an unusual lifestyle whereby we visit Tampa 10 to 12 days each month, September through June. Even though the weather on the Gulf Coast is not much different from northern Virginia’s summer weather, we take a summer break from Florida in July and August. Since beginning this schedule in 2007, we’ve missed only a total of four months.
This lifestyle has worked extremely well for us while creating a lot of interest and curiosity on the part of our family, friends and colleagues. Following this schedule, we’re able to work the first three weeks of each month and then travel to Tampa to relax and “practice retirement” the last part of the month. Of course, we both have computers in Tampa and we take advantage of any cool or rainy days to finish various projects like this newsletter. Many of our friends are amazed that we are already in our eighth year of this unusual lifestyle.
An Unexpected Surprise Attraction
One of the joys of having a second home is inviting those special people in our lives to visit and enjoy the great Florida weather and special amenities that living in a city has to offer. Our very first visitors, friends we had known for 30 years, arrived in time for New Year’s Eve in 2007. The interesting detail is that while this couple started out as just friendly acquaintances in our extended group of friends during those 30 years, they were not a couple until about eight years ago. Their relationship changed when they came to our home to celebrate my 60th birthday. Because they were unattached singles among mostly married couples, they spent much of the evening together. It was an unexpected, pleasant surprise to both of them, as well as their friends, that they developed an interest in each other beyond friendship.
To respect their privacy, I’ll refer to our friends as Carl and Tina. Carl is an aviation photographer and flies nationally and internationally for his work so he can work out of any airport in the world. Tina is a paralegal for a Washington, DC corporation and has a beautiful riverfront condo in northern Virginia. After Carl sold his lakeside townhome two years ago, he moved in with Tina until they could decide where their second home would be. Like us, they also didn’t want to become snowbirds, weren’t ready to retire and are still working full time. Their goal was to create a lifestyle that could evolve into their future retirement plans.
On their third visit with us, we shared our second home selection process with them in booklet form. We had created it primarily for our personal use but it became their guide to begin the process of selecting their second home, which they purchased in March 2015. An expanded version of that guide is now also available to you as Where Will You Retire?: A Retirement Guide And Exercises For Deciding Where To Retire, Buy A Second Home, Or Relocate.
They bought a single-family home in a quiet boat community about 20 miles south of Tampa. Carl longed for the “Old Florida” environment with a boating community and lots of outdoor activities. The contrast between our two purchases couldn’t be greater! We chose a city lifestyle with the sights, sounds and commotion of city life. Sitting on their porch the other night, we enjoyed listening to the frogs, crickets and birds as the sun set over the pond by their home. It was very romantic and tranquil!
All four of us followed our personal desires and dreams to create what works best for our individual interests and lifestyles. However, if any of us wants to change our environment for a day, we can simply visit each other.
Settling In With More Unexpected Surprises
Carl settled into their new home, got the furniture situated and then Tina came down to continue unpacking boxes. Since we were their very first guests in their new home, they shared with us more surprises that were beginning to surface for both of them. Carl is now saying he is open to the possibility of accelerating his retirement schedule. While he still enjoys the actual work, the constant travel is beginning to wear on him. He told us that “one day I will come back from an exhausting trip, call Tina and tell her I’m finished.”
Tina, after being in their new second home for only a few nights, is already thinking that she might not last the five-year time frame she had previously set for retiring from work. She said that she is “more open to embracing the feeling of letting go.” What is quite clear to her at this time is she definitely needs to negotiate more flexibility in her work schedule with her employer. Both Carl and Tina have other creative interests and work possibilities they want to pursue after leaving their formal careers. These are decisions that both of them will increasingly have the freedom to make.
Watching this situation unfold has been very personally rewarding for my husband and me. Seeing how close friends used the material we had assembled when we were exploring where to retire assures me that others will benefit from Where Will You Retire?: A Retirement Guide And Exercises For Deciding Where To Retire, Buy A Second Home, Or Relocate.
Are You Open To Unexpected Surprises?
One of the joys throughout all of our life stages are unexpected surprises. You’ve probably had many as you worked in your career, raised a family, and celebrated happy occasions. Just because you are entering this new phase of your life doesn’t mean that those surprises will end. Here are some questions for you to contemplate to uncover your unexpected surprises:
- What are your dreams and expectations for becoming the entrepreneur of your retirement lifestyle?
- What will happen when you surprise yourself one day by waking up ready to let go of work sooner rather than later like Carl is thinking of doing?
- How can you begin to negotiate a modified work schedule like Tina is planning to do?
- What will guide your decision about staying in your current home, moving, or purchasing a second home?
- When will you begin exploring various retirement destinations to discover which one suits you best and what information do you need to decide?
- What will guide your decision-making process when your son or daughter invites you to move closer to them so you can be more of a part of their family’s lives?
- What changes would you need to make in your life plan to buy a second home and come up with your own travel schedule back and forth between your two homes?
Keep The Surprises And The Freedom Of Choices Alive!
I’d like to use Carl and Tina’s story as your invitation to create and follow your own personal dreams and desires regarding your retirement destination so you can discover what works best for you in this new and exciting stage of your life.
I invite you to use the information and life experience shared in Where Will You Retire?: A Retirement Guide And Exercises For Deciding Where To Retire, Buy A Second Home, Or Relocate to support you in your decision-making process. My hope for you is that this informative book and exercises will guide you towards the personal decisions that will help you make the very best of the rest of your life!
Dee
Dee Cascio
Author, speaker, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Retirement Lifestyle/ReCareer Coach, and Life and Work Transitions Strategies Coach.
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Ready To Retire? Successful Retirement Planning To Make The Best Of The Rest Of Your Life
