Reflections for moving forward during times of transition all depend on one common denominator: you. You must take time to reflect on what you want to happen during a transition. Your success depends on identifying what has worked well for you and what has failed to serve your purpose in the past. (Check out the in-depth questions in “Use reflections to make your year successful.”) Once you have armed yourself with this information, you are equipped to move forward to your desired outcome. Without such self-knowledge, you are doomed to failure.
For example, have you ever tried to lose weight with diet and exercise, only to fall back into your old habits? Your reflections for moving forward should now include the elements of each weight loss program that definitely worked for you and what did not work for you. If overeating is a problem, Overeaters Anonymous (OA) could be a new way of addressing this challenge along with diet, exercise, and a buddy system.
On the other hand, if an upcoming promotion requires a new certification that you haven’t completed, stop wondering why you are being overlooked for advancement again. Instead, reflect on completing your college degree and being able to study for those classes. Identify why this certification is now more difficult for you. Do you need to dust off old study habits or make new ones with a study buddy? Are you unconsciously avoiding certification because it would lead to a promotion that doesn’t align with your career goals or values? Use reflections for moving forward instead of staying stuck at your current level.
What if you moved to a new city for work? Perhaps you are wondering why you haven’t been able to make new friends. If this is your first move, expect a learning curve and reflect on how you have seen others make friends. If you have moved before, use reflections on your past experience to make forward progress.
Harder still is when you have lost a long-term relationship through death or divorce. You are, rightly, afraid to begin dating or expanding your social circle again after so much heartbreak. Consider what you are looking for in friends and/or a partner now? What relationships served you well in the past and what were their defining characteristics? Use these reflections for moving forward with confidence.
These questions might also help you reflect and move through your transition successfully.
• Are you avoiding a change because it is too hard or are you avoiding it because it isn’t aligned with your life values and goals? If it’s because it’s too hard, find a way to break it down into smaller steps.
• What skills did you use in past transitions that served you well?
• What didn’t work well that you should avoid in the future?
• What have you learned about yourself from past changes and how can you be reminded of those insights now?
• What person was most supportive to you through other life transitions?
• What are your strongest resiliency skills and how can you use them now?
Take the time you need. It will be well worth the effort.