A successful transition—at work or at any stage of life—includes the following five steps. If you incorporate one or more of these behaviors into your thoughts and actions daily, you will also be building resilience for future changes and transitions.
1. Avoid blame placing
You may or may not have done anything to bring about the change you are facing. If you have not chosen this change, take responsibility for what you can control and refrain from blaming others for what you can’t control. You may have no control over a layoff, divorce, serious injury or illness, or the death of a loved one. You can choose to move forward in a positive, healthy manner for a successful transition. Placing blame temporarily shields you from facing reality and examining your options, but it also prolongs the pain, powerlessness, and discomfort of not accepting what is your new reality. You must make a change, and it is best to do so with honesty and compassion for yourself.
2. Be positive
Your thoughts lead to actions, your actions become habits, and habits form the basis of your life. Choose to think about things that are positive and uplifting. This will allow you to grow in transition. Start by identifying three things for which you are grateful. Do this daily. Research supports the effectiveness of the “gratitude list” exercise.
3. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people
Take your pick from among family, friends, and colleagues. When you’re going through change, even a successful transition, it’s not all smooth sailing. You will be more vulnerable to getting stuck in negative thinking if you are surrounded by cynical, negative, or sarcastic people. You are also more apt to resist the reality of your circumstances. Find positive people who will support you and help you look for what is right in the options you have going forward.
4. Combat fear with courage
Transitions come with a big dose of the unknown. Life-altering transitions—even the positive ones like getting married, starting a family, and being promoted at work—come with conditions we can never adequately prepare for. This is even more true for devastating transitions like a terminal illness or the death of a loved one. For a successful transition, ask yourself the hard questions that address your fears. These questions may include
– Can I really get through this change?
– Will I ever find love again if I lose a loved one through death or divorce?
– Can I find meaning and purpose in my life as I prepare for retirement?
Courage involves facing your fears and moving forward anyway.
5. Accept your new reality
Refrain from living in the past and idealizing the way things used to be, no matter how comfortable and familiar they are. Change and transition bring a new reality. This is especially true after a serious loss. Remember the positive parts of your relationship or job, but don’t idealize them. Know what values, character qualities, skills, and pursuits are still important to you to carry on and then be open to looking for another person to love or another career or volunteer opportunity that fulfills you.
Use these five steps to a successful transition as often as you face change. With repeated use, you are building resilience and your ability to thrive.