You may be facing one or more of the pitfalls of loneliness. In an earlier post about the loneliness epidemic, I defined loneliness as a state of being isolated, solitary, or without friendships and companionship. You can experience loneliness when you
• Lose loved ones through death or divorce
• Are married to someone who is married to their job or the pursuit of their own interests
• Lack a solid network of work relationships
• Are distant—physically or emotionally—from your family of origin
• Move because of school, marriage, a job change, family obligations, or the need for specialized services or care
• Can no longer drive
• Find it harder to hear and/or communicate in other ways
Here are ways to avoid the pitfalls of loneliness.
• Know the difference between being alone and feeling true loneliness.
• Examine recent life events. Loneliness is an indication that something in your life has either changed or needs to change. Take the appropriate steps necessary to move beyond your current place of loneliness.
• Take care to nurture family relationships and close friendships. Welcome opportunities to make new acquaintances among people who share your interests because these people could become life-long friends.
• Hang on to good relationships and let go of those that are no longer healthy or happy. Accept the fact that there will be losses along life’s way. You and your friend may both be at different life stages or engaged in pursuits that leave you both with little common ground. Be grateful for what you had. (I shared other tips in “A positive outcome from a negative change.”)
• When you are new to a community, join! Consider faith-based gatherings, parent groups at your children’s school, your Chamber of Commerce, hobby get-togethers, library-sponsored events, and meet-ups.
• If you are single, explore activities and groups for singles. Discover others who share similar interests, attitudes, and values.
• Be optimistic when you go out.
• Be friendly. Expect acceptance and warmth from people you meet.
• Volunteer and give back to your community. In the process of helping someone else, you may not be thinking about your loneliness, and your presence may be able to aid someone who also feels lonely.
Follow one or more of these suggestions to avoid the pitfalls of loneliness in your current life or work transition. Use these tips again and again as you take charge of your emotional health and successfully navigate future transitions without falling prey to loneliness.