Would we respect age more if we took Dr. Bill Thomas’ words to heart? He said that “aging is not a problem. Aging is a process that allows you to surrender the things that matter least so you can take hold of what matters most.”
My sister and I got a lesson in how other cultures respect age when we took a trip to Sicily, Italy with my dad in 2002. At the time, he was 84, very agile, in excellent physical condition, with only slight cognitive impairment. After a wonderful dinner on the third day of our tour, my dad had a mishap leaving the restaurant and heading back to the hotel bus. He tripped on a high curb and fell flat on his face. Before my sister and I even realized what had happened, area residents immediately materialized, offering help. One brought a chair for him, a second gave him water, a third applied a cold compress to his bruises. Our private tour guide called his ex-wife, a doctor, to come and make sure dad had no broken bones. He also made arrangements for dad’s broken glasses to be repaired by morning.
We don’t see this level of generosity and kindness on a regular basis here in the United States. Italians, however, respect age and care for the elderly.
Traditionally, many cultures have shown respect for the elderly and honored their experience in all walks of life. Younger members of families and institutions looked up to those who were older and valued their wisdom.
What do you do—personally and professionally—to respect age? Start by being aware of ageism. This term, coined by gerontologist Robert N. Butler to describe discrimination against older adults, has a broader meaning. Ageism is stereotyping and discrimination against anyone based on age.
Respect age and treat people as unique individuals. This applies whether they are children, teenagers, young adults, or people over 50. Children can teach us playfulness, intuition, and observation. Most teens, I discovered as a high school counselor, were great people who were grounded and we learned from each other. Young adults are excitedly finding their own paths and coming up with solutions unheard of even decade ago. Older adults have proven capable of adapting to enormous change.
If you are personally facing the discrimination of ageism, don’t suffer in silence. I address this in “Two kinds of stigmas” and “Fight stigmas with self-care.”
Each of us has a responsibility to respect age. In the process, we can make life better for others just like so many strangers did for my dad.