I am passionate about helping clients create successful retirement lifestyles. However, there are three kinds of clutter that stand in the way of that fulfilling, meaningful next chapter of life.
Several years ago, I remember attending a webinar on de-cluttering your life with an emphasis on the multiple kinds of clutter that people accumulate without even realizing it. A few months later, I received my Oprah magazine (when she was publishing it). I noticed her team would use the theme of decluttering in their spring additions. This particular year, she took a different approach. She devoted the magazine to articles and tips on how to de-clutter your “life.” Gathering clutter can become an unconscious obsession that ends up taking on a life of its own. I thought it was interesting that the topic of clutter had shown up several times in such a short period as a springtime topic.
As spring arrives this year, especially having quarantined for so long, you look forward to coming out of hibernation with longer, warmer days. You’re more interested in getting out to explore and resume outdoor activities. This might also be a good time to spring clean and declutter, creating brighter, more open surroundings for new experiences, relationships, and adventures.
Let’s look at some of the various kinds of clutter that interfere with our daily lives without us even realizing it, whether we are retired or not.
Physical Clutter
Physical clutter is the most obvious to all of us. Things, objects, papers, books, tools, mementos, and old clothes that are too large or too small crowd our closets, drawers, garages, attics, etc. Many of these are things we’ll never use again, and they could easily be given away to people who can use them, or these items could be discarded. Other things have too much sentimental value for us to part with them. Are you in a place in your life where you need to make these decisions? Some of these “things” separate the “way we were and what we did” with “who we are today.”
As you think about leaving work and entering a new stage of life filled with new experiences, new relationships, and possibly even a new environment, what are you holding on to that no longer serves you well and has no real purpose in your life? It’s ironic that some postpone retirement because it would mean facing the clutter accumulated over the years of their lives. Could the excitement that this next stage of life offers you motivate you enough to let go of these things?
Relationship Clutter
In the planning stages of retirement, it is not unusual to reflect on your past, present, and future relationships. You might be wondering who will be there for you in this transition. Can you give less time to some relationships that are unsupportive while you give more time and attention to other relationships that are supportive? Reflecting on past and present relationships may include colleagues, friends outside of work, and even some family members. You might want to revisit those relationships and situations that need mending or changing. Here are some questions to reflect on:
• Are there people in your life who are no longer supporting you in the way that you want or need them to?
• Have they changed or have you changed so the relationship is no longer serving you well?
• Do you feel good about your life and yourself when you are with family, friends, and colleagues?
• How supportive have you been to a friend or family member?
Maybe you aren’t sure how to let go, whether it’s out of fear of hurting them or having regrets about losing a long-time friend. In some cases, it might be a matter of shifting their priority in your life. Before you decide, ask yourself, “Will I be helping or hurting myself by staying in this relationship?”
Emotional Clutter
Often, we are burdened and held back by emotional clutter, which I define as old feelings that have never run their course to make way for healthier emotions. We notice that our energy is chronically compromised by those heavy emotions. It’s almost like you are carrying a backpack full of bricks around with you. This emotional clutter comes in the form of would-haves, could-haves, should-haves, and regrets about ways we wish we had behaved differently in our lives. Consider these questions:
• Did you hurt the ones you love or let someone hurt you?
• Did you fail to reach personal goals that would have enhanced your life, thus leaving you with regrets?
• Were you so rooted in your comfort zone that you avoided risks that may have led to success?
• Do you regret being held back by fear of the unknown and missing important opportunities?
These are the kinds of unhealthy feelings and emotions that can affect your physical, emotional, and social world as you age. It’s unhealthy at any stage to carry unresolved emotions, especially as you leave work. Life can be free and clear of all this unnecessary emotional clutter. You will have many years after leaving work, so reflect on what you need to let go of, leaving more room for positive emotions. If you do, you will have much more peace of mind and emotional freedom to enjoy your life.
Now that you know about the kinds of clutter that may be holding you back from a successful next chapter of your life, pick one area to start addressing this week. It may help if you review your goals from “Better goals for every stage of life” before you decide.