In previous posts, we have looked at when to retire with regard to retiring at a different time than your partner/spouse. We also explored how gender differences play a part in retirement.
Another challenge for couples is worrying about their income decreasing when one spouse leaves work. Some people stay at work simply to maintain their current lifestyles. However, retirement often cannot be delayed when health issues interfere with one’s ability to work. Will you be prepared?
When couples who own a business together want to slow down, it is extremely important to pre-plan for retirement early enough. Some questions to consider: What is the succession plan? Will their children or extended family relative take over the business? Will they sell it? Can one spouse phase out before the other or will they both retire together?
Sometimes a couple might plan to retire within three to five years of each other. Once the first spouse retires, the other spouse may find an earlier retirement is much more appealing. Once they see their spouse enjoying retirement, the couple may need to renegotiate their time frame so they won’t compromise their financial plans. Otherwise, this change of plans may cause resentments.
Age differences and health issues also affect retirement timing. A spouse turning sixty-five might be ready to retire due to fatigue and burnout. However, the other spouse might be concerned they will lose the stability of the working income. Couples like this really need to focus on negotiating their different needs and work towards cooperation and compromise.
You need to have the “when to retire” conversation. After working with couples for twenty-five years, I believe one of the most important conversations a couple can have is timing their retirement, whether they’re retiring together or separately. These conversations should begin in their early fifties, or even earlier, and be ongoing to compensate for unexpected circumstantial adjustments that occur in all our lives.
At a minimum, these “timing of retirement” conversations should include the following:
• The dynamics of balancing responsibilities in spousal roles.
• The stressors that may occur like illness, financial uncertainty, career burnout, aging parents, dependent adult children etc.
• Realistic expectations of each spouse upon retiring either together or separately.
• How to negotiate this transition if a spouse is forced to retire or wants to delay retirement.
When to retire is a very personal matter. My husband and I are both in the process of phased retirements. Neither of us wanted to retire at the traditional age of sixty-five. We are both still going strong at seventy-five and eighty-two but at a more reasonable pace. However, we both agree that over time we want to increase the relaxed pace we are cultivating. For now, we are enjoying the intellectual, social, and physical stimulation of our lifestyle and workstyle as we continue to make the best of our lives for the rest of our lives.