Have you given any thought to whether you will be going solo in retirement? There is a good deal of emphasis on making the retirement transition as a couple. Much less information is available for those who are single.
Going solo, in retirement and in other life stages, is on the rise. A single lifestyle is being embraced intentionally by some and unintentionally by those who have had to face difficult life circumstances. Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone by Eric Klinenberg is an excellent resource for exploring this shift toward living alone.
Singlism
In 2012, Klinenberg reported 28% of American households were made up of people who lived alone. These individuals had either never married, experienced divorce, or had been widowed. The majority of them—15 million people—were between the ages of 35 and 64. An additional 10 million singles were over the age of 65. These numbers have probably grown considerably since then.
Klineberg mentions the ground-breaking work of Dr. Bella DePaulo, a Harvard-educated psychologist, author, and singles advocate who is currently an Academic Affiliate of Psychological and Brain Sciences at the University of California, Santa Barbara. After growing up in a small Pennsylvania town where marriage was assumed and expected, she chose a single lifestyle to reflect who she really was. While she took pride in her choice, she also coined the term “singlism” to exposed the discrimination and stereotyping that singles face.
Going Solo
If you will be going solo in retirement, I urge you to draw on your life experience for this next transition. Like me, you may have moved far away from family and friends as a young adult or you may have made a similar move later in life due to death, divorce, or remarriage. Remember the positive aspects of that experience and how you overcame challenges.
Next consider how you made up for not having family and friends close by. Where did you meet people? What activities do you still enjoy that you might share with your new neighbors and soon-to-be friends? Decide how you want to build your new support network so you can live a happy and successful life, going solo in your next season of life.
Practice resilience. You have the ability to respond to changes in life or work circumstances and to move forward based on your past successes.
Even if you and your partner are planning for retirement now, life can change without warning. Give some thought to how you can nurture relationships and build a supportive network of family and friends before you find yourself going solo in retirement.